body functions

I used to believe…

as a kid i used to believe that when doctors "diagnosed" someone with a disease it meant that they gave them the disease. Whenever i heard that someone was diagnosed with cancer or soem disease i would think to myself why did they give them the disease? lol

I used to believe your sternum protected your soul while you were alive, which looked kind of like a really bright yellow/white glowstick. I still sort of cling to that one, and I'm 26.

I used to believe…

when i was little i believed that when you ate food it would fill up your body all the way to your neck...when dessert came around i would always say the i had room for dessert because dessert fills up you head...now i know that all food goes into your stomach

I used to believe…

When i was little i was sure i could see better then everyone else and see really far away, later in my life, I got glasses LOL

I used to believe…

When my brother, sister and I were little kids, my parents had friends of theirs who lived in England come to visit us. After that, whenever my sister would get upset and cry, my brother and I would tell my sister that if she kept crying that would make our friends in England cry. For some reason she always stopped crying, but I could never figure out why they would cry if she did.

I used to believe…

when i was little i thought that a girl and boy pee in a toilet the color of the pee would be the skin color of their baby.

I used to believe…

In 2nd grade (mummbldy moons ago) I wished with all my might to be able to see the Space Shots for REAL! Six months later we had moved to Florida and were living so close we could watch from the back yard. The ground shook and the windows rattled.

Never mind that my father was an Aerospace Engineer, I was conviced that it was all due to my wishing. I was VERY careful after that to only use my powers for Good!

I used to believe that if you weren't sick and you took medicine, you would get sick. That kept me from faking sick a few times. I didn't want to ACTUALLY get a sore throat from the medicine.

I used to believe I had a fairy living inside me and she would turn poop inside me into pixie dust. Then the pixie dust would be wafted out into the atmosphere when I farted. So, I thought that being constipated was a good thing, because it meant my fairy was doing her job well. But when I had to have an actual bowel movement, I thought it meant my fairy had gotten behind with her work or was sick or something.

I used to believe…

At about five years of age, I was accused of "reverting back" to not being potty-trained anymore. The reason is, sometime leading up to that, when I was otherwise potty-trained but still needing help wiping my butt, my big sister told me "You're getting too old for this". I guess maybe she meant to say I was getting too old to need help with the butt-wiping. But I thought she meant I was supposed to outgrow pooping itself. So that got me to trying really hard not to crap, and holding it back until I would often shit in my pants. To this day I feel the vague suggeation of immaturity every time I doodoo.

I used to believe…

When I was about four, I used to believe that when you fell asleep you actually died. Any dreams you had were the afterlife you experienced that night until you would come back to life the next morning. It wasn't that I missunderstood what death was at that age. I literally thought you died.

i used to think that whenever you at there were little people inside of you that would take your food and toss it in a furnace and thats why your poo was brown then the liffle men would stick the poo to the inside of your head and you had to shake one loose to go to the bathroom

I used to believe that when you eat something it goes to your foot and everything you eat after that gets higher and higher in your body. Once it gets to your head a doctor has to surgically cut open your chest and take out the food and after the doctor takes out the food, you are empty and you can eat more.

I used to believe that if I turned my head and looked at my butt when I farted, I would see the fart coming out. So one day I went into the bathroom naked and looked at my butt until I farted. I was very disappointed when I saw that farts are invisible.

I used to believe that I could breathe underwater. Because of this I didn't learn how to swim properly until I was seven. Every time I went in the water, I would try to breathe, and then I would have to come back out because I was choking on water. I didn't understand what was wrong until I went to British Columbia to visit my aunt. We went swimming, and when she realized I was trying to breathe underwater, she just said "Try holding your breath, you can't breathe underwater." and I was like "Oh, really?" So I tried, and when I realized how easy it was to swim when I wasn't trying to breathe water, I felt royally stupid. lol.

I used to think that you could not only take too much medication and overdose, but you could take too little and "underdose".

Yeah, I wasn't the brightest crayon on the box.