body functions

I used to actually think I could fly. I was a huge peter pan fan and still am. Well I would dream every now and then that he came and I flew away with him. So I'd stand on the coffee table and jump off and when I didn't fly I'd say the pixie dust wore off! This went on from the time I was 3 until I was about 6, when I dreamed a monster ate peter. I was so upset! To this day my mom tells everyone about it.

I used to believe…

When I was quite small, my mother referred to having a BM as "grunting." I even now suppress a giggle when I read a sentence in a novel that goes something like, "He grunted in reply."

I thought I was the only one in the world who ever belched.

I used to believe…

When I was little i believed u only had to poop a limited amount of times, and when i counted down to 0, I celebrated cuz i thought i wouldnt have to crap anymore
But when I had to go again i was so mad

I used to believe…

When I was little I thought I could fly also(I think alot of kids did). I remember how I did it and everything: I would be walking and would fall foward, but instead of hitting the ground I would just sort of hover a few inches above it.

I used to believe…

when i was a kid i thought that girls use to pee out of their butts.

I used to believe I could see through things until, one day, I realised I was crossing my eyes making some objects seem transparent!

I used to believe…

When I was little I didnt know anything about the digestive system so I thought when you ate food it would all just fill up from your feet to your head.

I thought that when you threw up it meant that the food was filled up past your head.

I thought that fat people were just people that use to be skinny but they ate so much that they filled up to their heads abnd just expanded.

I'm a girl, and used to believe that I peed outta the Front hole, and pooped outta the middle hole. Then one day I discovered the back hole, and earlier that day I had heard the term "rip you another asshole" so, I thought someone had "ripped me another asshole"... I ran to my mom, and she told be otherwise(I was like 6)

I used to believe…

When I was little, I had a small change purse, and I was convinced that when I swam, breathing into in would let me breath underwater. Needless to say, it didn't work out a lot.

I believed that when you passed gas, a visible bubble would appear (even when not in the water) and then *pop*, spreading the merriment for everyone within range.

I used to believe that girls pee out of their butts (My mom told me so.). One day, me and a girl started arguing about how they pee and she said that they didn't. I was shocked. She told me the truth, and I misheard her thought she said they pee out of
"Chinas." I was so confused. It wasn't until the next year in 6th grade Family Life that I learned the truth about all of the things I never understood.

I used to believe…

When I was very young I believed that our bodies were hollow and whatever you ate or drank went down to the bottom of your feet and gradually filled you up. This process took years and when you were "full" at a very ripe old age, and there was no more room, you just died.

I used to believe…

When i was five, my dad gave me a bite of steak to try. I didn't like it and went to spit it out in the toilet. Having nothing to do with this event, i started to cough in the bathroom. My dad ran in, and after finding that i was fine, angrily said ''i thought you were choking!'' His extreme reaction brought forth a chain of thoughts in my mind. The likelihood of choking to death weighed heavily on me and i refused to eat anything for over a week. During that time, i remember going to an ice cream parlour with my dad who was trying to order me an ice cream sundae (something that to him seemed impossible to choke on) and just the thought of possibly being served one topped with nuts made me cry uncontrollably in the restaurant...i remember him looking at me as though he thought i'd probably end up starving myself to death.

I thought that farts were your butt screaming to not be sat on. Well, my uncle Morty was sitting beside me on my couch, watching telivision. He let a huge, loud one rip. We had been sitting for a while. "Uncle Morty your butt is upset from being sat on!" I yelled and when he got up, i kissed and patted his bum to make it all better!

I used to believe…

When I was very little, of course, I didn't know much about the inside of the human body so in my imagination, I would picture it. I thought that inside of me there were little sacks for all the different kinds of food and little people on platforms held by ropes that could lower up and down. These little people would catch the food as it came down and sort it into their respective sacks. For instance, if you ate a carrot it would go into the carrot sack. I guess the thought of all that food going down and being mushed together was just too gross a thought to fathom. Little men & little sacks - much more appealing indeed!