body functions

I used to believe…

From as far back as I can remember, I had always (up until I was 7 or 8 and in school) believed that urine was just the extra apple juice your body had not wanted. I also believed that saliva was apple juice that was stuck forever in your mouth.

I used to believe…

My mom used to tell me that if I took a nap that when I woke up there would be a fallen star outside. As soon as I would wake from a nap I would look out the window but there was never a star there so I figured that I must not have napped long enough.

I used to believe…

Once, when i was little, I saw my older brother sucking on his bleeding cut.

"Ryan, what are u doing!!" I said, amazed that my older brother would do something as silly and as gross as sucking on a cut.

"I'm fixing my cut!" He shouted back.

"What do u mean fixing your cut?!?!!?!" I asked.

"Well, if you suck on ur cut for about twenty minutes, ur blood will go back into ur body and ur cut will heal!!" He said to me. He still talks about it to this day!

I have the oddest memory from when I was about 3 years old and in a crib (yes I remember that far back!):

When I was 3, this is how my bed time schedule worked: Mom comes in, kisses me and says she'll see me in the morning. Dad comes in, gives me Teddy Grahms, and kissed me good night. Well one night I decided I didn't want to sleep. So i closed my eyes really tight and wished that it'd be morning (Which took about 5 seconds) as soon as I opened my eyes again, my mom came in my room and said "Wow, last night went fast huh?" I thought that I actually changed the night to day!

I used to think that new shoes had special powers to make you run faster. I remember going to a family reunion at a park with lots of hills. And I had a brand new pair of shoes. I would run down the hills racing my cousins and was so proud of how fast my new shoes would make me go.

I used to believe farts were light blue bubbles that came out of your butt (why they were blue bubbles, I'll never know). I used to fart in my bed in the dark and dive under the covers real fast, trying to see them before they popped and disappeared....and I wondered why my big sister hated sharing a room with me!

I got the chicken pox when I was about 5 years old. It was my belief that I got sick because I ate chicken. My brother, then 11, told me that was the reason. I remember not being able to eat chicken after that. It is only now I can eat it...but still, it is with silly caution. I only eat the meat from the breasts.

I used to believe…

As a young boy, I used to think that pretty women did not fart. They looked and smelled too good for that. I believed that farting was something only boys did, prefering "burbing" at the rear rather than the mouth. My first girlfriend dispelled that belief when when she farted so loud one night, it woke me from deep sleep. AND ALMOST NOTHING WAKES ME UP FROM DEEP SLEEP!

I used to believe…

When I was growing up in the Philippines, my brother and sisters would tell me that if I get cut, that rice and carabao would come out. I thought to myself, "Yeah right! Carabao! PLEASE! But what am I gonna do when rice comes out?"

I used to believe…

When I was little, I thought that when you ate something, it re-formed in your stomach into what it looked like in the first place. Like, if you ate an apple, you would end up with a whole apple in your stomach.

I used to believe…

When I was a little kid I used to wonder why anyone would ever want to donate blood. I was certain that you had only a specific amount, and if you ran out you would die - if you kept donating it, what would happen if you got in a car accident?

I used to believe…

When I would choke on something I ate my grandmother told me that it went down the wrong tube. For example, if it was Wednesday she told me that it went down Tuesday's tube. What a shocker in 6th grade anatomy to learn that we didn't have seven tubes (one for each day of the week) but we only had two tubes...one to eat and one to breathe.

I used to believe…

When I was eight I had to have an especially stubborn tooth pulled, in another city. When my mom told my teachers that I would miss school because I was having "oral surgery" I burst into tears, because I thought that meant "very serious surgery", and I was surely on my deathbed.

I believed up till a few years ago, (I was about 12 or 13 at the time) that I was going to have a heart attack. And I thought this because I had thought my teacher during a discussion on day, said that blue veins meant that they were clogged with fat. And well I had then and still do have many large blue veins running to my heart, as everyone does. It took my mom to set me straight, and we had a good laugh about it... still do actually.

I used to believe…

My Dad served in WW1, and was badly injured. One of his minor problems was his baby finger on his left hand which had not been set, when broken, and was like a corkscrew. As a child I would ask, time and time again, what happened to his finger. He would say "the Germans did it" I heard "the germs did it" and was very careful to scrub myself so no germs could get to me.

I used to believe…

When I was little my mum would tell me that if I took medicine and I didnt need it I would get the illness it was prescribed for. Eg. If I took headache tablets and I didnt have a headache I would get one. So I was always very careful when I told mum I was sick.

I used to believe…

A couple years back there use to be a tv show called, Lambchops. So I'd watch it everyday at the same time. One day the show was about believing in something hard enough and it will happen. The lady tried to demonstrate to the viewers by saying if she concentrated on flying it would happen, and on the show she did (her feet lifted off the ground about an inch).....WELL this really screwed up my way of life. I can't even remember all the countless hours I spent for years as a child trying to get my feet lifted off the ground...I use to think there was a special trick to it or something!!