body functions

i used to think i could fly until i stood on top of the table and fell off and break my head

I have a tendancy to get stomach ulcers and when i was little i convinced my class that i had lots of bugs living inside me, about the size of a cocroach, and they ate away at my stomach which caused me to have tummy aches!

I used to believe…

When I was a little girl and frequently woke up at night having nightmares. I would go climb in bed with mom and dad, and everytime I did, mom was sleeping on her back. Well I thought that only mom's could sleep on their backs. So I grew up sleeping on my tummy. When grown tho, I found out it was true. When you are pregnant, you can only sleep on your back, or side! I did learn to sleep on my back.

I remember one night when I was around 7, we had all gathered at my grandmother's for some family thing. Me and my best cousin (who was 2 months younger) were acting goofy as usual (sliding down the stairs on our asses, to be precise); Prior to descending into fits of laughter, she turned to me and said, "we'd better stop or we'll get the giggles." For a long time after that, I believed that "the giggles" was a serious illness that I'd have to go to the doctor for if I was ever unfortunate enough to contract it.

I used to believe…

When I was learning how to use the toilet (ie: potty training), I firmly believed that if I was alone while I did a "number 2", the resulting loaf would jump back up and bite my ass.

I used to believe I could fly. I used to share a room with my brother, and we had bunk beds. I had the top bunk. One night I had a dream, I was flying all around the world after I rubbed a magic genies lamp and wished to fly. I woke up and it all seemed so real. So, being the 5 year old I was, I jumped at least 7 feet on to the ground and popped all my knuckles on one hand INSTANTLY. MY face hit the ground and left a small bruise. That was the day I grew up

I used to believe that if you stood in front of an open woodstove when it was hot, and farted, the tozic fumes of the fart would catch fire. I tried this many times, and so did my brother, but alas we could never make our farts catch fire.

I used to believe…

When I was about 6, I came down with a kidney infection. As anyone who knows about that, they perform a urinalysis to determine the problem. As a 6-year-old, the word "urine" wasn't a part of my vocabulary yet so I thought they were saying "your analysis"! After all, they were analyzing ME. :)

I used to believe…

When I was young our television did not have a remote control, or at the very least it had been lost. However our next door neighbour's did. I became convinced that I could turn the television on and off just by winking at it, unaware that the neighbour was infact doing so with the remote control. I always wondered why it would never work on our own television.

I used to believe…

when iwas like 9yrs old i believed that i had to do 2 farts after whatever i ate or else i would explode i always blamed it on the food i still do

I used to believe…

when i was a little kid my sister told me that whenever i poopied that grimace the purple guy from mcdonald's would come out of my butt so i held it in all the time and was scared.

I used to believe…

When i was little i refused to sleep with my bedroom window open even in the hottest summer nights. The reason being even on my second storey bedroom i used to beleive if i left my window open Wolves would fly in and play on my bed while i was sleeping in it. I think it must have stemmed from a dream but it had me terrified for years

i used to beleive that if i fell asleep on the toilet id turn into a poo

I used to believe that a little boy lived inside my stomach (which took up my whole abdomen of course) and floated around in the water in an eggshell picking through my food to get what he liked best. This probably came from me watching my mother have my baby brother when I was 5.

I used to believe if you ate something greasy & then drank a cold drink, the grease in your stomach would become a solid mass. WHY? Because my Mom used to pour her grease from cooking into old soup cans, put it in the fridge & it would be solid!! Made perfect sense to me!!

I used to believe…

When I was little my dad told me if I ever stepped on a rusty nail I would get this evil thing called lockjaw and that I would have to drink from a straw for the rest of my life. I never ran around with out shoes and belived that into my 20's.