body functions

I used to believe…

When I was real little I use to think that if you talked too much your vocal cords would run out of cords and you couldn't talk anymore. So I was a very quiet child for a long time.

I used to believe…

When I was a little kid, I shared a room with my older brother. At one point I had a cold and was disturbing his sleep by all my hacking and coughing.

Frustrated, he thus told me this whopper: That I had a little puppy living inside me and that I also had a formidable alligator in there too. Every time that I coughed the alligator would bite at that puppy, so if I wanted the puppy to live, I had to quit coughing.

I didn't REALLY believe him entirely. But I did try to stiffle my coughs and began to imagine places in my body where the puppy could hide.

I used to believe…

When I was quite young, a neighbor convinced me that a "hernia" was when a boy's penis got tied in a knot. She being particularly cruel had done this to her brother.

Imagine my horror when I found out my father had a hernia!

I used to believe…

When i was about 6 i would go to my brother's baseballs games and play with other kids who had siblings playing baseball. There was a big rock there and we were convinced that if you jumped off it you could fly for a little while if you really believed. So we would take turns "flying" off and i jumped pretty far so i thought i was a good believer. part of this may have come from the song "i believe i can fly"

I used to believe…

When I was young my dad used to lean against things like a wall or tree,or he would bend over and pick something up and he would rip a long loud one. Then say something like"did you hear that? the tree is moving" or "sounds like this thing is broken".He now walks stairs and says"creeky stairs, i better fix them soon"

I used to believe that cramps were called crabs because that's how I heard it. So if I would be running and got a cramp, I would say "Ouch. I have crabs! They're pinching me!"

I always thought that the more you drank and the longer you held on the less you would need to go to the toilet. So one day I tested my idea on a school trip. I was on the bus and I must have drank more than 5 pints of water. You can gess what happened.

I used to believe…

When I was little my dad told me that when you lied your tongue would turn black. For years when I would like my dad would ask that I stick out my tongue just a little then he knew I was lying.

I used to think that if you just kept your mouth closed when you burped, no one could hear you. It wasn't till I was married that my wife told me she could hear. I hate now to think of all the dates I must have ruined in COLLEGE where I let out a belch, but had a smile on my face cause my mouth was closed!

I used to believe…

When I was little every time I got the hiccups my grandma would tell me that I got them because I didnt wipe good enough when I went to the bathroom! Needless to say everytime I got the hiccups I would run to the restroom to clean myself thinking that would make them go away, and when they didnt I would be so emberrassed thinking that everyone would think I was not cleaning right.

I used to believe…

When I was 5 I used to believe that when someone got chicken pox they developed a bump that later sprouted a chicken feather. I was terrified of getting the chicken pox, which at the time was going around my school.

I used to believe…

For a a while when I waas maybe seven or something I thought I could "communicate" with dogs.
A year and a half after getting over that (I got over it "speaking dog" when I was 8) I thought I was a werewolf and could accidentilly turn into at any moment.

I used to believe…

in second grade my teacher told me the class that the other teacher, for the other class had special powers and that someday she would show us. I believed that till I was in fourth grade.

I used to believe…

When I was a little girl, I always wanted to do everything my big brothers did but they didn't want a baby sister tagging along. My grandmother told me that if I could kiss my elbow I would become a boy just like them. I tried for YEARS to reach that elbow with my lips pursed just right ... only to learn later that it was physically impossible and just a little something grandmother invented to ease my hurt and, by then, boys liked me for being a girl. ; -) Thanks, gran!

i was a really little kid when i was in elementary school, and got made fun of for being so short. so because my mom told me that people grow during their sleep, every night i would lay in bed fully stretched out in the hopes that i would grow. unfortunetly it didn't work.

I used to believe…

Once, when I was 8, I told my Mom about this weird experience I had where the exact same thing happened to me twice. She explained that it hadn't happened twice, but that I had d�j� vu. The next day at school, I told all of my friends that I had this weird French disease that made me get stuck in time and repeat things I'd already done.