body functions

I used to believe…

When I was very, very young, my parents would try to amuse me at the breakfast table. Using the Kix cerial I was eating and some simple slight of hand, they proclaimed that I was making the Kix come out of my belly-button. Little did they know that besides amusing me, they also had me convinced of this special power. I went on believing that I could make Kix emerge from my navel for several years.

I used to believe…

Before I learned that pneumonia had a silent "p", I used to believe it was actually two sicknesses: there was neumonia, which was what you got if bronchitis got worse, and then if that got even worse, you ended up with PENumonia.

I Used to Beleve that if you sang this song it would make your farts seem better so here it is Beans Beans the More you Eat the More you Toot but singing that didnt help at all

I used to think that little angels would shove poo out of my behind!

I used to think that if I ate grass, I could fly. I'm sure I decided this after watching birds. I ate alot of grass but not enough apparently.

I used to believe…

my mom told me if i ate while lying in bed or couch i would fall asleep and turn into a SNAKE. Till this day I sit-up straight while i eat.. even when i'm sick in bed!

I used to believe…

When I was about 4 years old I was playing hide & seek with my mother. I was hiding in the bathroom closet & heard someone come in the bathroom. I peeked through the door & saw my father peeing.
I ran out of the bathroom screaming & crying to my mother that my father had pee pouring out of his thumb.
I was very worried that something was wrong with him & that he'd need to go to the hospital or something!

I used to believe…

When I was a kid (1950s) I used to believe that anything you wanted to do that was any fun would either put your eye out or give you lock-jaw according to my parents

I believed that Ping Pong Balls was a venerial disease you got from Chinese people

I used to believe that babies had taste buds on their faces. Why else would they be so messy? So whenever I fed a baby, I would "do them a favor" and put a little around their mouth before I gave them a bite.

I believed ex-lax was real chocolate. I couldn't understand why my mother would keep it in the medicine cabinet and thought she was just trying to conceal it from me. Well, I found it and ate the whole bar thinking I had the greatest treasure. You know the rest.

I used to believe…

when i was a young girl, i couldnt understand why boys could pee stading up and girls couldnt, so i tried to pee standing up in the bathroom and no matter how i swerved to get myself to pee standing up, it all just ended up all over my legs :P

I told my oldest son that ladies never pass gas, that what he heard and smelled actually came from this stuffed toy he had, called Booderoo. He believed me up until about age 8! I, of course, being a lady, never do that.

I used to think that because my dad stood up to pee, I could too. So one day I stood in front of the toilet, peed, and got all upset when it just dribbled everywhere. When my mom found out and, after she got done laughing, asked why I did that, I told her "Daddy stands up to pee, why can't I?" Needless to say, I learned about the differences between guys and girls at a VERY young age.

I used to believe…

When I was young my mother told me that hiccups made me grow taller so, whenever I ever had the hiccups, I didn't try to stop them because I wanted to be tall. I would even measure myself to see how much taller I'd gotten. (It didn't work, by the way.)

I have a cousin who fell and injured his arm. While he was waiting to be x-rayed his sister pointed to a medical poster that showed half of the body with skin and the other half all of the bones and organs. She told her little brother that the x-ray would do that to him. Apparently, it took many people to x-ray his arm. I don't think he will ever be the same.