body functions

I used to believe…

when i was a little kid i used to thing a orange tree was going to grow inside my stomach when i ate a orange seed

I used to believe…

When I was in second grade (8 years old), I was standing in line with the other kids to have the teacher check my work, and two boys and I started a contest to see who could hold their breath the longest. I filled my lungs with air, and held my breath for the rest of the time I was in line. The thing that amazed me was that I didn't even feel the need for air while holding my breath, I was just as comfortable as I had been while breathing. Needless to say, I thought I was really good at holding my breath, and wondered why no one else noticed how long I was doing that.
It wasn't until a couple of years later that I realized I had been breathing through my nose.

I used to believe…

When I was little I had a baby gate set up on my bed so I wouldn't fall off. One night I asked my sister what it was for, and she said it was a fence so monsters couldn't get to me, and I believed her. Later in my life (while I was still quiet young) my mom was in my room, said, "Oh, we don't need this anymore" and started to take it off. Then I started screaming and crying for her to leave it on, so she did, but was confused. I never let her take it off. I'm pretty sure if we hadn't moved, it'd still be there.

I used to believe…

You know when you get up from sitting for a long time and you feel a little dizzy and see stars? When I was little, my brother told me that if those stayed for too long, they would become permanent. Every time it happened I would try to shake them out of my eyes just to be safe!

I used to believe…

One time we were driving past a house that advertised psychic tarot card readings for $20.00 and my daughter asked me if the lady inside knew we were driving by reading her sign.

I used to believe…

My dad used to tell me that whenever he ate a salad, a little leaf would grow out of his belly button. After we would eat salad I would wait and he would tell me it wouldn't come out if I was looking, so I would leave the room and he would call me back to show me a little leaf in his belly button. I wanted to grow a leaf from my belly button too but he said I had to eat more veggies for that to happen. Sneaky dad.

I used to believe…

When I was four or five I used to sleep on my left side. Every night I would hear a thumping, drumming sound in my left ear and could never figure out what it is, bu,t after much theorizing, concluded the only possible answer is that giant dwarfs lived in my ears - dwarfs because they had to fit in, and giant because they had to step loud enough for me to hear them (little giants never occurred to me though). I think it took me a year or two before I figured out it was my heart I heard thumping.

I believed that when I went #2 in the toilet a giant spider would come up from the hole in the bottom and bite my bum. Needless to say, I wasn't potty trained until I was 4.

I believed that an allergy was something you were terrified of, I had a friend allergic to dogs and one allergic to bees. I met a boy with a wheat allergy and I laughed and laughed and laughed! The girl with the peanut allergy got me going to.

I decided that only thing I was allergic to was tigers. I believed this until at least the age of 14.

I used to believe…

When I was really little (like maybe 3 or 4), I was afraid I might break my mom into tiny pieces if I hugged her too tight. I imagined she could shatter like glass. I was always careful not to squeeze much and to keep my arms kind of relaxed so I wouldn't hurt her. I have no idea why I developed this belief, but eventually I told my mom about it and she set me straight.

I thought that there were little ant people in my stomach who lived a in a little hut and lived in family units. They dressed like peasants. Their job was to take the food I ate for themselves and make poop to push outside my body. When my cousin told me that if I ate seeds the fruit would grow inside of me, I purposely started eating watermelon seeds to reward the ant people for their hard work.

I used to believe…

When I was about 5 or so, I used to think that when people went to sleep they stopped breathing. So whenever I would pretend to be asleep I would hold my breath for as long as I could.

I used to believe…

After choking on some food, adults would always say "it went down the wrong tube", so I used to think that you had one tube for solid food and one tube for liquid and you had a coughing fit when they got mixed up. This proved problematic when eating soup.

I used to believe…

When I was young and I sneezed but no one said 'bless you' and would quickly say 'Blessyoume' to bless myself.
I didn't realise that the saying 'Blessyoume' made no sense until I was 17 and my mum laughed at me for saying it.

I used to think that everyone had a limited amount of words they could use in their life (a limited amount of mouth movements, and a limited amount of sound), and so when you silently mouthed words, you were using up your mouth movements, and so in the end, you'd have extra sound you wouldn't be able to use.

I used to think that I was the only person in the world that could yawn. So one day in kindergarten I yawned and said to the kid next to me, "don't worry I'm not going to eat you, that's my superpower". Why I thought that was a superpower though is beyond me.