body functions

I used to believe…

When I was a little girl, my sister once told me that having to poop was caused by being naughty. So I resolved to be a good enough girl that I would quit pooping. By the fifth grade I was very sad that I just couldn't seem to manage to be good enough to quit pooping.

I used to believe…

When I was about 8 years old, we learnt about how Jesus cured lepers. The Teacher was bombarded with questions about leprosy and she spent about an hour explaining what it was. Somehow I managed to greatly misunderstand the disease and for about a year afterwards I thought that anyone who had their fingers curled up a little had leporsy. For that year I went around with my hands dead straight so that I wouldnt be at risk of getting the disease.

I used to believe…

when my sister was like 5 or 6 she was sleeping in a top bunk bed and when she was watching a depends comercial she said that she needed those so she would not have to get up out of bed.

I used to believe…

my brother told me that if i dialled 666 then da devil wld come up and take my soul. And to get my soul back i had to work as a pornstar. I got told this when i was 5 and stopped beleiving it when i was 16

I used to believe…

When I was small, about 7 or so, I knew that my large intestine was a device for making poopies. So I logically deduced that my small intestine MUST be producing urine!!! :)

I used to believe…

When I was a child I believed my father when he told me that sniffling would make my mucous go up into my brain so I had better use a tissue and blow my nose instead.

I used to believe…

Another thing my mother told me: bugs are very found of using your ears as restrooms and when there is wax in your ears it is actually "bug potty," as she called it. My mother was very weird.

I used to believe…

When we used to visit my uncles house and we wanted to go to the toilet he told us that we had to give him 5 pence to work the lights, otherwise we couldn't go.
I thought that his house always cost so much

I used to believe…

When I was a wee lad of about five, I thought that men lactated orange juice. Imagine my mom's surprise qwhine I asked her if i could breastfeed my younger brother!

I used to believe…

When I asked what manure was after it was mentioned on televsion, my mum told me it was poo and was used to make pastry. For years after, I never wanted to eat any pastry as I thought it was poo!!

I used to believe…

when i was a young child i used to believe that feces were seeds, and if you planted them whatever you ate would grow back again. Hence, if one ate a hamburger and planted the poop after, a cow would spring up.

I beliveve that i got abducted by aleiens and i got special powers and i could talk to animals

I used to believe…

When I was little, my cousin told me that bogies were dead brain cells. I believed him until the day I repeated this amazing fact in front of my high school biology class, who never let me forget it.

I used to believe that airplane bathrooms didn't have holding tanks, but rather, holes that went to nowhere, so the poor people on the ground would get accidentally "rained" on if they weren't careful (sort of like having a bird crap on you, but on a much larger scale. Later, my mom told me the truth, lol.

i once belive that if i farted it stunk really bad and smoged the earth and every one died except me!!

I used to believe…

My mother used to tell us that taking medicine that we didn't need would cause us to get the sickness it was meant to cure. Like, drinking cough syrup when you didn't have a cough would cause you to *get* a cough.