body functions

I used to believe…

When I was 6, my family was getting into the car and my mom said she had to go back inside and get her leather handbag, but I heard her say 'Liver handbag'. When we got in the car, I kept thinking of how disgusting liver was, let alone as a handbag. I could swear that I could smell the rotting meat in the car. I was trying so hard not to think about it by looking out the window. My mom noticed I looked kind of tense and she pulled me close to her and wanted me to lay my head on her lap, where she also had the bag, and I tried to make myself stiff so she couldn't move me but as she pulled me closer, I kept thinking I thinking how squishy the liver probably was before they could make it into a bag and I threw up all over the place, especially on the bag. After that I always rode in the front with the windows wide open and the bag no where to be found.

I used to believe that I could use the Force, just like Luke Skywalker from the Star Wars movies. I would sit endlessly, arm pointing at some object across the room, trying to move it with my mind. I tried imagining what the object would feel like if it were in my hand. I tried picturing the object moving across the room and into my hand. I tried thinking of a field of energy that would come out of my hand and envelop the object, like a tractor beam. Nothing ever worked. That Yoda's full of baloney!

i used to believe that males' poo came out of their willies

I used to believe…

as a child i had 'speedy boots' these were imaginary shoes which i wore that made me go much faster like sonic the hedgehogs shoes... unfortunatley mine needed imaginary fuel which i would stop in any place to fill up on, like the middle of the supermarket, road or classes!

I used to believe…

when i was about 10 i thought i could fly down the stairs because i did so in a dream i had.

I used to believe…

when i was in first grade a classmate of mine broke his arm rather badly, and was hospitalized for about a week a a result. it had happened on a sunday, needless to say, he wasn't at school the next day. all the kids notived something was different, and the undercurrent of conversation in he class was "why isn't todd here?" then my teacher got up and made an annoucment. "Todd's mother has mjust called to inform me that Todd won't be here for several days, he accidently rode his bicycle of the porch, and broke his arm. Why don't we all make some cards for him? I'm sure it's very lonely for him in the hospital."
Well, i, having heard that assumed hat Todd;s arm was broken OFF and on my card was a picture of him in a hospital bed, minus an arm, and the arm in a smaller ber next to him. When Todd returned the following week and told us about the pins they'd put in his shoulder and showed his cast, and i figured the 2 togerther were holding his arm in place. "how awful" i though, he'll have to wear that thing forever" luckily, i found out he truth when Todd's cast was removed 6 weeks later.

I used to think i giant green bubble would come out of your butt and pop when you farted, But then I looked in a mirror and farted, I was so disappointed

I used to believe…

when i was younger i thought if u didnt eat all your pea and u have 1 left it would miss all its friends

I used to believe…

when i was 8 years old my brothers told me "if i try hard enough i could do anything" so... we were at my grandmothers house where i decided i could fly. i got up on her couch and jump up then smack! on the ground. i was rather confused, but ok.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I didn't finish my dinner but wanted my dessert anyway. I told my mom I couldn't finish my dinner because the vegetable sack and the meat sack in my tummy had fallen over. And the reason I could still have dessert was because that sack was okay.

I used to believe…

When I was about 5-6 years old, I used to think that whenever someone farted, a little invisible man came out of ur butt, made the sound, and ran around the room stinking the place up with some sprayer he had.

I used to believe…

When I was little I belived that all I had to do was run around this plant in my yard 5 times and flap my arms.Then I'd become airborne.I tried and it didn't work.Duh....And when I had dreams that I could do it,I kept trying.Which I finally came to the realization of the fact that it won't work.(I was 4 people!Can't blame me!)

I used to believe…

When i was little i would talk really fast so my parents would always say something like "breathe when you talk!" so i used to think that when i was talking i wasnt breathing and that i would die from not getting air...i was strange...

I used to believe…

When I was little (until about five) I was obsessed with flying. I put my heart and soul into the dream that one day I would be able to finish my training--taping feathers onto my arms and buttocks, then jumping off stuff--and soar off into the sky.

I thought that your body is hollow and that your food just sat in there and you slowly fulled up.Then when you got filled up you just emptied yourself in the toilet.

I used to believe…

when I was little i got a cut and my big brother told me that if I lost too much blood that I would die so i held the cut over a cup and waited until it stopped bleeding and drank the like ounce of blood that had collected in the bottom. eww gross