body functions

I used to think that when I farted, my insides exploded! That was one theory, anyway. The other one was that when I was small, I ate a bomb and the bomb exploded every once in a while.

I used to believe…

When I was very young, I can't remember how old I was, but anyways..I thought a miniature witch lived in my stomach. I used to think that whenever I ate, the food would drop into a couldron and the witch would mix away. And if I was a bad girl, she would put magic spells in the couldron and make my stomach hurt. And it would make me mad, so I would repeatedly punch myself in the stomach yelling at her to fix me right now! Ah..so naive.

I used to believe…

When my sister was about 8, I convinced that she was invisible. I had her going for about ten minutes, and all it took was saying "Where'd you go?! I can't see you?!" She got all up in my face and was making goofy faces at me, thinking that she was safe because, logically, I couldn't see her.

I believe that if tou farted in publc a
gas bubble will pop out and explode in your face, well thats what someone told me anyway.

I used to believe that if I ate all my dinner the pattern on the dinner plate would change.

Then I found out that my mum told me this to make me eat all my tea!

I used to believe…

When I was at infant school, my next door neighbour used to look after me in the morning when my mum and dad went to work. One day she asked me if I wanted to spend a penny before I went to school, I thought this meant that we were going to the shops to get some sweets and was very excited, you can imagine my disappointment when she told me what it really meant.

I used to believe that our bodies r empty and when we eat food it goes first to our feet then to the legs and every time we eat food goes higher till it reachs the neck then we feel we want to go to w.c. to have an extra space 4 our next meal!!

I used to believe…

While trying to sleep I would hear a constant "shoo shoo shoo..." type noise in my ear as my head was against the pillow. I didn't know I was just hearing my own heartbeat in my pressed ear, so I was under the impression that some type of train was coming to take me to my dreams. I even tried to inquire about this "dream train" with my Mom, but she couldn't figure out what I was trying to explain!

I used to believe, when I was very young, that as women had no penises, women had no private parts altogether. How did they use the toilet, you say? Easy: they peed through the anus.

This belief was revoked when I discussed the matter with my brother, who cracked up laughing saying, "Imagine how disgusting it would be trying to pee and crap at the same time!"

I used to believe…

When I was little, my grandmother told me that if someone sneezed and you did not say "bless you", that their soul would leave their body. This haunted me and I would put my hands above my head whenever I sneezed to "catch my soul". Even as a superstitious teenager, whenever I sneezed and no one "blessed" me, I would raise my hands above my head non-chalantly!

i used to believe i was a witch and that i would have speacial powers but it if i got up in the night i would have them taken away .i wet the bed very often (but i was only 4 )

i used to think that you could only sneeze so many times before you used them all up, then if you tried to sneeze your head would explode. i still hold my sneezes, just in case.

I used to beleive that there was an alligator opening and closing my butthole so i could poop. The door was an oldfashioned drawbridge door. I always felt bad for the alligator because he had to step over my poop to open the door. Also i thought that wen i pooped my pants (since it was still maybe or three and it happened sometimes) that i kept the alligator waited too long so hejust opened the door because he was getting smooshed by the poop. The alligators name was Al.

I used to believe…

When my little sister was just potty trained, she thought that when she pooed her insides were coming out. For about a month she would cry whenever she had to do it. Finally, my mom told her what it really was.

I used to believe…

It was actually not until I was pretty well grown up that I first encountered the phrase "to take a dump" meaning to poop. For a while I didn't know what was meant. I thought the phrase would mean like falling out of one's chair, or falling off a bicycle or a sled, etc. I finally was corrected in a moment when I was made to feel stupid when the phrase was used and I responded as if it meant someone had fallen onto the floor. Since then I've tried to make a joke of this whole awkward learning experience. Like once recently at a Christmas exhibition, I sat down at the eating area and found I was sitting in a very rickety chair. On inspection I found the chair seemed to be about to fall apart. So I hung a sign on it reading, "Caution. Chair broken. Sitting not recommended. You might take a dump." I hoped someone might find it riotously funny, but I never observed any consequences.

i believed when i get a cut,a headless priest will come out with a train coming after it.it happened once but i was like 3!it was probably my imagination...or was it?