body functions

I used to believe…

When i was about 6ish, i fell off my bike and grazed my knee then i insisted on crawling around on the concrete. My mum asked me what i was doing and i told her i was looking for my skin!

I used to believe…

When I was about 4, I accidentally walked in on my brother, who was peeing. I noticed he was standing up, and later that day, I decided that if HE could stand up while peeing, why can't I? I tried it, and I ended up making a mess.

I used to believe…

When I was about to turn 2, my mom was wanting me to stop needing diapers. She told me that once I was 2, the manager at Randall's (our grocery store) wouldn't let her buy diapers anymore. I bought the whole thing.

I used to believe…

One time when I was little I was sitting on the toilet a very long time so my mom told me that if you sit on the toilet too long, you'll get a rash sort of thing on your butt. The only way to get it off is to go to the hospital and they have to cut it off. My mom then told me that she had it when she was going to the hospital to give birth to me. I probably believed that rash story longer than any other childhood belief. It took me while to realize that my mom never had part of her butt cut off right before she gave birth to me, I would have heard about it more than that one time!

I used to believe that little men lived in your butt and would take the food that you ate and paint it brown and glue it to other foods. Then they would put the poop on little skateboards and skate it out of your butt. It was a very complicated process!

I Used to belive that when I slept my goobers would crawl out of my nose and into my eyes but one night I was crying because I was afraid that they were going to eat my eyeballs that I found out that was a whole bunch of nonsense.

i used to belive that girls can use urinals and pee like guys. all they had to do was make their little "hole" in the vagina be directly straight up. i tried it once but it made a mess. One day i found a website that teaches girls to pee like guys standing up at a urinal hands free, without pulling their pants down.

I used to think that when you ate food it would reconnect in ur stomach and dance around. And I'd imagine like hamburgers and corn on the cob dancing in my stomach.

I used to believe…

When i was little my grandpa told me and my cousins that if we swallowed our gum that we would fart bubbles. I stopped believing it when i was older and had tried it to see.

I was convinced that I could walk on air (like cartoon characters, they walk off a cliff and it's only when they look down and realise that they fall). I knew I could only do it if I really concentrated and had complete confidence, so I used to go up to my room and practice walking from on my bed across to a seat against the far wall. Eventually the complaints from my parents in the room below put a stop to this.

I used to believe…

When I was 5 or so, my dad used to tell me that if I wasn't asleep by midnight, I would turn into a pumpkin. I was so scared because I didn't know he was joking.

I used to believe…

when i was little, a mean little friend of mine who lived across the road from me tole me that if you cut yourself, and you lick/ drink your own blood your toung would grow really big,after that i had a phobia about cutting my mouth just incase some blood went on my toung!!!

I used to believe…

wen i was littel i thought that wen u ate ur food went to ur feet and worked its way up, so wen my parents would ask how full i was i would point to the shin on my right leg, and theyd say well, eat to the same spot on ur other leg, and then u can have dessert.

I used to believe…

When I was about 4 I used to tell people I could run faster than a cheetah and when confronted to show them told them that I couldnt because I wouldn't have time to stop before I hit things on the other side of the field and hurt myself!

I used to believe…

My dad always told me that food gave me energy, so I always thought that when you ate, it went into your stomach, which was a giant tub that was being stirred up like what you see in the factories on TV. When the factory was done with the process, it would've made energy.

I used to believe…

remember those little toys we hasd when we were young--the ones where yyou had a hollow box with different shapes cut into the side--and you were supposed to put the correct shaped toy into the matching hole? like the pyramid would go into the triangular hole...well, i think you get the point...any ways, when i was young, about 3-5 years old, i thought that your throught was the same way, like if you ate an apple, it wouild fall through the circular hole in your throught,and if you ate a slice of pizza, it would fall through the triangular shaped hole.

I used to believe…

You know when you're eating or drinking somthing sometimes it doesn't go down right and you start to cough? People always would say to me "It went down the wrong tube." So I used to believe that people had 3 tubes. One for food, one for drinks, and one for breathing. So like when I was eating somthing and I started to cough, I would just assume it went down the drink tube.

I used to believe…

When I was about 5 I thought if I tried hard enough I could lay an egg like a chicken. So naturally I checked the toilet every time I had a poo...but no eggs ever came along, alas.