body functions

I used to think that diarrhea was a combination of poo and pee, which is why it was so runny. I had no concept of excremental anatomy and assumed that my anus and urethra were in the same place. When I found out that men peed out of their penises, I assumed that men were unable to have diarrhea because there was no opportunity for pee and poo to mix in that situation.

I am a girl who used to believe that if i practised hard enough I would be able to pee standing up like boys. I sat backwards on the toilet for a few weeks then progressed to squatting over the toilet while still facing backwards. Luckily I figured it out before I tried it from a distance.

I used to believe…

When I was little I used to think that when it rained it was God taking a shower, when it thundered he was bowling and when lightning flashed he turned on a light.

I used to believe…

The AID's panic was in full bloom when I was in 5th grade. The News was always announcing how many people were contracting AID's and dying.... at the same time my mama was pursuing the American Dream of being even slimmer and using a diet help called "Aids".
I began sneaking them out of her desk and flushing them down the toilet.. until it broke the toilet. She was yelling at me and asked what I thought I was doing... "I didn't want you to die of AIDS" lots of bawling...

I used to believe…

My mother used to convince us that she could see doves in our eyes when we were tired. The more number of doves, the more tired we were. 3 or 4 doves was the max & used to promptly make us tuck into bed....

I have 3 siblings eating pistacio nuts one time, & dad told me i should reduce my consumption speed & consider about the man in India who cracks open each nut with a hammer & chisel....i was about 15 yrs old until i realised this was complete nonsense!

I used to believe that when I had a really painful bowel movement it was because I didn't chew my food well enough- particularly chips.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I used to believe we ran on batteries. I believed this until about 8 when I had asked when we needed to replace them and was told how the human body works.

I used to believe a fart was when air got trapped in your underwear and made a noise squeezing out of the elastic in your underwear's leg holes.

I used to believe…

My mother had convinced my brother and me that, if we played with fire during the day, we would wet our beds at night... we would laugh at her, but you wouldn't catch us playing with matches if our lives depended on it...!

I used to believe that hamsters lived in my chest / belly and they would run on their wheel to help digest my food as I swallowed.

I used to believe…

when i was young i heard my mom talking about someone who had lost their voice. i thought about how that could be possible. i came to the conclusion that i only had a limited amout of voice and i needed to save as much of it as i could. i wasnt much of a talker.

I used to think that some people had "stink glasses" and could see farts even if they were silent. I was to scared to let any go.

I used to believe that "gluten free" meant you could eat as much as you wanted without getting full or fat

I used to believe that iodine was monkey blood. My dad used toput it on our cuts and told us it stained because it was monkey blood.

I used to believe…

You know how some diseases are named after the person who discovered them? Well as a kid I thought the person INVENTED the disease and wondered what kind of person would create horrible diseases on purpose