body functions

I used to believe…

When I was probably 6 my older sister told me that if I didnt pee every 5 hours then my bladder would explode. I went around telling all of my friends to go pee every 5 hours. I wasn't too good at math then so I would go to the bathroom every time that i felt I had any in my bladder

I used to believe that I could stop time. One time at a friend's birthday party I snapped my fingers, grabbed an extra goodie bag and snapped them again. The mothers were all at the back, and laughed when my mother explained.

I used to believe…

my first bad dream was about this big scary-ass cloud of smoke that came into my room to get me. When I told my parents in the morning they told me not to worry it was just a nightmare. For years I thought that nightmares were scary-ass clouds of smoke that occasionally came into your room and got you.

I used to believe…

When I was about 8, I lost a tooth at a friends house. She told me if I did not stop the bleeding I could die. Being a stupid little kid I believed her.

I used to believe…

When I was about six years old I thought I had the ability to see through little things. When you stare some things for a while it gets distorted and sortof doubles up so it looks like a hole. So during snack time I'd hold a potato chip over an eye and tell everone I could see through. The sad part is I was really serious and did realize everyone was giving me funny looks.

I used to believe…

Whenever my parents were just waking up, they would yawn. So I thought yawning was something you did when you were waking up. My mother sent me to take a nap that I didn't want to take when I was about 3, and my argument was, "I'm yawning! You only yawn when you're not tired anymore!"

I used to believe…

Since boys stand up to pee and girls sit down to pee, I always thought that girls pee'd from their butts. It was sixth grade when I got into a dispute with a girl in class and I yelled out, "At least I don't piss through my ass!" ... What a zinger!

i used to cry ALL the time. it realy bothered my sisters, so they told me the if i kept crying, i'd get all shriveled up like a raisen. then, every sunday at church, i'd decide which old ladies cried a lot or just a little based on how wrinkled their skin was. i stopped crying so much because i didn't want to be all wrinkled!

I used to believe I could see air. Then when I moved to a new house, I met a girl at school, and the first thing she said was "I can see air." We've been best friends ever since.

I used to believe…

When I was younger, I beleived that when you ate, your food didn't really go anywhere in general..It just kinda, filled spots in your body. So whenever we'd go out to eat, my mom would ask me, "Are you full yet?" and i would check my arms and legs and say "Nope, i think i still have some room left here on my arm (or leg or chest. whatever.)."

I used to believe that if any two HIV-negative men engage in gay sex, both of them will get AIDS.

I used to believe…

My cousin used to tell me that if I had slept in someone else sleeping bag I'd get AIDS, believed it too.

I used to believe…

one time i feared poop. my friend told me it was a brownie so i could eat it, but i didnt believe him. i was then scared until my mom told me it was just lots of bacteria.

I used to believe…

When I was little I believed that the magical-seeming abilities of adults --card tricks, memorizing directions to a strange place at one fast hearing, lifting heavy things, etc.-- all came from tests of inner will and self-discipline (though I didn't yet have those words, I had the concept). I believed that doing anything that was hard would make me better, not just at whatever it was, but at all things, and that the harder a thing was to do, the sooner I'd be able think really fast and tell long jokes properly and do all the other grownup things.

My mother taught me to read as I was learning to talk. When I was four or five I read about eclipses in a children's science book. It plainly said you should never look at the sun-- which intrigued me. Later, playing out in the alley, I gritted my teeth and held my eyes open with my fingers and stared at the sun for a predetermined count of ten. Then, after the spot went away enough so I could see to move around, I went in to where my mother and grandparents were and told them. I was so proud and they were so horrified. "Oh, no, honey! /Never/ look at the sun!" But it was right there, available.

I must have been about 7 years old when my mum told me that my dad had a gall stone. When I asked how he got it she replied that he had swallowed some grit while digging in the garden. She totally denies it now.

I used to believe that if you blew your nose, the snot was actually part of your brain coming out. Someone told me that and it was YEARS before I could blow my nose without freaking out.