body functions

I used to believe…

My cousin and I used to believe we could make our own powers. We thought we could make a small scratch on something with concentration. And we thought we could direct the wind; and if we concentrated, we could charge up ourselves and run very fast. We also thought we could control people with our minds if we really tried.

I thought if I said someones name 100 times I could transform into that person. Then I tried it again and it didn't work, so I decided I probably had to say their name 1,000 times. I gave up after that.

I used to believe you would get attacked by germs by breathing the breese that goes by when somebody walks by you. When I was 6 or 7, I would hold my breath until I felt that the breeze was gone. I would imagine little germs coming up in a swarm and wanting me to breathe them in, then whoosh on by. Wierd, but true.

I used to belive that goats were watching me in the window at night when I went to bed. After I went to sleep, they would jump in my window and puppets would dance around my room while the goats ate my socks and that is why I could never find the matches to any of my socks.

I used to believe…

As a little girl, I thought I knew the reason for separate girls' and boys' public bathrooms. I thought that both pee and poo must be fundamentally different in girls and boys. I thought the kind of toilets without tanks like I often encountered in girls' bathrooms were capable only of handling girls' excretions, and that what boys do wouldn't flush down them. Though I'd never seen what was in boys' public restrooms, I assumed there was a counterpart there that similarly couldn't flush what came out of girls. I assumed that only toilets with tanks on top, like the ones at home, were equipped to handle all four kinds of excretions. One day in Sunday school the teacher told us that the girls' room was out of order, and boys and girls would have to take separate turns using the boys' room. As fate would have it, I was pretty sure I'd have to poop before going home. I began to panic, thinking I'd surely make a mess in a boys' potty that wouldn't flush down. Years later I learned that panic and nervousness can cause diarrhea, and that surely must explain what happened next. While nervously sitting on a boys' potty I had my earliest experience I can remember with a really runny waterry stool. But what did I think at the time? I thought what I'd done must be a boy-type poo. Being in Church, I assumed that God had provided for me, making me for once do a boy poop, so it would flush down the boys' potty!

i used to believe..
my balls were full of pee

I used to believe…

when i was little i used to believe that people could read my mind and if i ever thought anything bad about them i would apologize and cover it up and say that i was thinking about somebody else. funny thing is sometimes i wonder because you never know if anyone in the room is a phsycic...lol!

I used to believe…

When I was 5 or 6 I used to believe I had X-ray vision becasuse I could see through my hand. It turns out I was just crossing my eyes and I LOOKED like I could see through it, I was really dissapointed.

I used to believe…

When i was about 5 years old, i used to believe that everything i thought people could hear!

I used to believe…

When I was five, I was very picky with my food and only ate pasta and bread. Well, my mom told me that I would have to have a taste-bud transplant. I was hysterical. A few years later she told me and I felt pretty stupid.

I used to believe…

When I was a young teenager, I used to believe that when guys urinated they had to squeeze their penis to make the pee come out. In movies, it showed the men merely holding their penises, not squeezing the pee out.

I found out I had been mistaken when I was playing Barbie's with my friend, and I had made Barbie "help" Ken go to the bathroom.

i used to believe that if you crapped on the toilet for long enough a huge turd would come up to my front door open it come upstairs and eat me and poo me out and the poo would turn into me and the process would start over again i beleived that up until 2 years ago im 10 now!

I used to believe…

On my 6th birthday, I remember very clearly waking up early in the morning, before school and before my parents were up, and watching cartoons with my younger brother. I noticed little itchy bumps on my legs and arms; I thought they were mosquito bites (in the winter.) For some reason I thought that peanut butter was a remedy for itching. So I went upstairs and got the peanut butter and started putting it on the bumps on my legs. I soon had a lot of peanut butter on my legs and the carpet. My mom came in and I explained what I was doing. She told me gently that peanut butter is not a treatment for mosquito bites, and further, there are no mosquitos in November.

I was so disappointed when she told me I had to stay home from school because I had the chicken pox!

I used to believe…

When I was a school girl (first or second grade or so), there was a park near the school with lots of woods. I loved going and pooping in the woods. I was never what anyone would call exactly a naughty girl, but there was intrigue in the sort of taboo-breaking of going into the outdoors, baring my butt and belting out as big a dump as I could. My best friend at the time was named Julia and she often accompanied me into the woods. One day, I told her didn't she want to poop in the woods also. She told me she couldn't poop. I asked her why and she said "Julias don't poop!". I was disappointed, but believed her at the time. To this very day, whenever I meet anyone named Julia, I always have a bit of apprehension that she might be some kind of not quite human sprite, who is exempt from having to poop. And I wonder a bit what all else Julias might be exempt from.

I used to believe…

When I was a child, my sister once told me that that only reason why I ever had to poop was because I'd been a naughty little girl, and if ever I quit being naughty, I'd quit pooping. To this very day, I never poop without finding myself working at telling myself that I'm not really doing anything naughty.

I used to believe…

when i was 9 i thought that the toilet was a mad monster that only wanted to eat my poop and pee.but then when my mom said the toilet eats my pee and poop because he was hungry, i was ok.