body functions

i used to believe that i could move object with my eyes, so once in a moving car, i thought i could move a cherrio. SO i stared and stared and then the car bumped and the cherrio moved and i thought i moved it!

I used to believe…

When I was about 4 years old and I needed the toilet to do a no.2 and I kept it too long I got a sore stomache and I used to think I was going to have a baby. I used to walk round my house shouting "I'm pregnant" and my dad used to respond "That only happens to big people"
I was so disappointed when I eventually went to the toilet not to find a baby in the toilet!!!

i woke up in the mddle of th night one time and started picking at one of my scabs and ended up pulling it off. i cried all night long thinking that i was gonna bleed to death cuz we didn't have anymore band aids.

I was a faster runner than most of the other grade school kids.
When I would run my side would get sharp pains.
I decided this was caused by one of my ribs that had grown downward and attached itself to my leg bone.
When asked I would explain that my condition was like being "bionic" but actually better.

I used to believe…

when i was a kid, i used to imagine that there was a wizard-like person that lived in my body, right above the bunghole, and he pushed my crap through this portal that radiated light, and everytime i held my poo, i imagined this wizard trying to use his magic to push it back out. You know, the dung would come pushing back up through the portal and this little wizard dude in this light green cloak chanted getting the turd out.

Weird, huh?

I always thought that I was invincable. I tought I could fly and that I had x-ray vision. And I thought we all had some "mutant" power like my mom always knew what I was up to, etc. I just figured with time, you're powers develop more, like yoda's advise in a jedi. I now know that none of that is possible

I used to believe…

When I was about five or six, I noticed that when one person would yawn, the person next to them would yawn, then another person, etc. This was an interesting phenomenon that I was sure I could puzzle out. Well, I knew that there were these "invisible" latitude and longitude lines surrounding the earth, and I knew that the earth spun. So I figured that whenever you passed under one of the lines, you would yawn. Then the next person would pass under and they'd yawn, etc.

I used to believe that my stomach had two sides: one side for regular meals, and one side for snacks and dessert. So when I got 'full' and I didn't want to finish my dinner, my parents would say 'well then i guess you don't want any dessert.' and i would say 'no, mommy. THIS side is full. My snack side is still empty!'

I used to believe…

When I was 6 or 7, I used to think that time sped up when I was asleep. I didn't like bedtime, but I though that the sooner I went to sleep, the sooner I could get up again.

I used to believe…

Up until age eight, I thought that nightmares always took place in your room next to your bed. One time I was talking to my mother and my friend and I prefaced a thought with, "You know how nightmares always appear on the side of your bed?" and they both looked at me like I was insane.

I used to believe…

When I was about 3 years old I had pneumonia and had to have x-rays taken. The doctor told me he was going to look at my bones but neglected to tell me how he was going to do it-so I was convinced that they were going to take my skin off.

I used to believe…

when i was about 10, i kinda believed that anyone who had been given a general anesthetic was after that a 'zombie', who may act like a normal person, but has no consciousness. and i even told this to a psychiatrist...lucky not to have been locked up

I used to believe…

When I was little and would bleed (injury, picked scab.. whatever) I was conviced that if you licked the blood from it it would heal faster.. I knew you shouldn't lose too much blood, so I thought i was doing my body a favor.. Go figure.

I used to believe…

Until I was about five, I thought that your esophagus had a million separate tubes for everything you ate. When I told my mother that she should have my corn tube removed, she explained that I was very wrong.

I used to believe…

When I was four I was told that my cousin had split his head open while playing on the swings in the park. I went to visit him and was very disappointed to see that he had only a few stitches in a little cut rather than his head being completely cleaved in two like an orange cut in half.

I was always told that if one played with fire (such as poking at campfires with sticks, etc.) that one would wet the bed.

Needless to say, with a family that had at least one campout a year with a large campfire...this led to more than one kid in our family developing complexes about the matter O_o