body functions

I used to beleave that I had the superpower to see through small objects if I held them close and looked at them crosseyed. I was very disapointed when I learned that this was only because one eye was looking at the object while the other looked passed it, making the object seem transparent to me.

I'm still baffled about where I picked up this habit, but when I was younger, I believed that you were supposed to sit on the toilet stark-naked (without socks even). I never knew otherwise for a long long time. In fact, it was only about half a year ago that I decided to leave my shirt on.

I used to hear people talking about Alzheimer's Disease, except I heard it as "Old Timer's Disease." It made sense since only old people got it. Then I asked my grandma if she was an old-timer, and she said yes, and I was so afraid that she was going to get Old Timer's Disease and forget everything and then die.

I used to believe…

When I was about 5 or 6 i thought whenever you saw someone on tv that was sick, you would get the illness too. After watching part of a soap opera were a girl had tuberculousis (sorry for the spelling) i started coughing and crying convinced i would die. When I didn't I thought i must be really lucky to survive all of these diseases. Um, yeah...i was pretty dumb.

I used to believe…

my dad used to tell me when pooing that if u pushed too hard ur guts will fall out

i used to believe that around 1000 humans used their fart at the tails and wings of aeroplanes to fly them

I used to believe that your stomach was divided into seperate parts, for seperate foods, and if someone said their, "food went down the wrong tube" it was something like, milk going into the macaroni and cheese tube.

I used to believe…

when i was a little kid, once we went to this kid's house that my mom and his mom were friends with. (they went to our church.) well i had to go to the bathroom so i went in. and there was this little trash can full of toilet paper crumpled up next to the toilet. and i thought since there was a boy living there, that it must be because when boys go to the bathroom they put their toilet paper in a special can. i don't know why i thought that, but i thought that for the longest time, till i was like 10.

i remember my parents referring to someone as ending up in the hospital and being a vegetable. I remember imagining for years afterwards these giant carrots or celeries in hospital beds and i couldn't for the life of me figure out why they would turn into vegetables.

I used to believe…

Every time i would go to the washroom i would have to take off my shirt as well as my pants in case something got on them...i believed everyone did this until about grade 4!

I used to believe…

My cousin and I, used to beleive we could fly. We would take turns jumping off the couch to see who "flew" longest. I also belevied that if I stared straight into the sun I could make day turn to night, I was really upset when I found out that it was just me going temporarily blind.

I used to believe…

One time when I was about 6, I wrote a letter to the tooth fairy asking her to give me the ability to fly. I really believed that she got the letter so I tried to fly and then i fell and my toe started bleeding. :(

I used to believe…

When I was little, I used to believe that if I bit somebody, and made them bleed, that they would turn into another me! Just like werewolves, only they would turn into a wereme. Then I bit my brother and nothing happened. I must say I was genuinely disappointed.

I used to believe…

When I was a kid I thought girls' urine was blue (I am obviously male).

i used 2belive that when i farted it was my bumsinging

I used to think that when you hiccupped, someone in your stomach was ringing a bell to let you know they needed more water to get a bath, and that's why they call it a belly too! Man was I strange.