body functions

I used to believe…

When I was a child to used believe that my father had magic powers. For example, when my father and I went to pick up asparagus my father always knew where they were.I was amazed by his abilities to see underground.

I used to believe…

When I was a child my father told my little brother, if you stay up until late you will see the sandman.
My brother fell asleap on a carpet so he didn't see the sandman.

I used to believe…

When I was a child I didn't sleep well until late at night. So, my parents were worried about me. My older cousin , live in my house. He told me " now at night outside of the house, there is a very very scarely old women, who is like ghost. She wants to catch a boys and girls. But If you don't want to be caught by her you should go to bed early . and you have to make a fist while you sleep, got a lot older I made a fist and went to bed early.

I used to believe…

When I was 5, my 7 year old brother told me that 'penis'meant pee.The next day at kindergarden I raised my hand and said to the teacher "can I go to the bathroom?My penis is about to burst out of me." Everybody laughed at me. Later I asked my mother what penis mean.t and she told me the correct defination. I laugh about it even now.

I used to believe…

When I was young I believed that if you farted when it was cold outside smoke would come out of your bootie the same way it does mouth. So when I would have to fart and I was waiting for the school bus I would hold it until I was sure that no cars were coming by so that no one would no that I pooted.

i believed if u farted so loudly and violently u would fly up into space and explode by the almighty gases inside u. i still believe this now and i have never farted loudly since!!

I used to believe…

when i was 5 i was obsessed with the 'sleep' in my eyes. i used to think that while i slept, little mice took tiny pieces of cheese and put them in my eyes before i woke up in the morning.
...mice do love cheese

I used to believe…

my uncle used to tell me that when you went to sleep at night, all snuggled in your safe bed, that the rats would come out and drink from the corners of your eyes.

I used to believe…

When I was very young (about 3 or 4 years old) I was a big fan of tomatoe sauce / ketchup. Back then, all tomatoe sauces came in glass bottles that you had to bang the bottom of to get the sauce out of.
It seemed logical to me then that these same physics should apply to the human body, so when ever I went to the toilet to do poohs I would sit there banging myself on the head with my hand trying, literally, to knock the s**t out of myself.

I used to believe that whatever I ate would be put back together again in my stomach. So if I had a grilled cheese sandwich and milk, despite the fact that I had chewed, there in my stomach would be a perfectly formed grilled cheese sandwich, with the milk formed to look like it was still in a glass.

I used to believe…

Whenever I heard stories about contortionists who could fit their whole body through a tennis racket, I always wondered how they managed to squeeze through all the little holes between the strings.

I used to believe…

When I was a very young child, I saw Peter Pan for the first time and was marveled on how Wendy and her brothers and Peter Pan would fly and wished I could fly too. Then, I went to Disneyland and in one of the gift shops they were selling bottles of fake pixie dust and my mom bought one for me. So, in my childhood innocence, I thought the pixie dust was real and if I poured it on me I would fly like the kids and Peter Pan in the movie. So, I sprinkled the whole lot on me and thought happy thoughts like Peter Pan had said in the movie. I was sorely dissopointed when it didn't work. For awhile, I thought that I wasn't doing it right. lol

I used to believe…

Whenever I was to get new sneekers, I had to try them our how fast they were. I ran atleast one lap around the store for every sneeker and decided from there. Of course, the ones with a puma or the ones with many stripes usualy won.

I used to believe…

When I was a small boy, I sometimes (was my imagination) got hot when using the Restroom. So therefor I removed all clothes exept my shirt. I thought it was horrible to see poop, so I removed my glasses as well.

I was horrified when I looked under a bathroom stall and saw pants around their ankles. I thought, "Those poor, hot people! They must be so embarrased that they can't remove their clothes!" Later I learned the truth.

I also thought that urinals were for people that didn't want to pull their pants down, so they used a urinal. A stall was for a person who didn't want to be seen while using the toilet.

I was a strange kid =D

I used to believe…

When i was about seven i believed there were alligators with yellow moles all over their skin and they walked on 2 legs. They lived in my toilet. Whenever I went to the bathroom the toilet had a sensor which went down to a machine the alligators had. The machine would turn my waste into anything they wanted to eat of drink.My waste, now food would be transported down to their home in my toilet on white china plates.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I used to be able to fly. I very clearly remember flying around at the bottom of the stairs in my old house. It's a bit like swimming, none of that Superman or broomstick rubbish.
Now I only fly in dreams, but I'm convinced I can still fly if I really believe in it. The thing is, I'm scared of it not working, so I haven't ever tried it.