body functions

I used to believe…

My dad used to say that if you ate standing up, then all the food would go to your big toe.

I am a synaesthetic, meaning that I have extreme sense-mesh in which I mentally can do things like feel colours and see sounds. I assumed everyone else was like this as well, until I was about 13 or so.

I used to believe…

being born into a vietnamese family, we learned about lunar new years and how every year has a different animal. i always thought that when you slept at night, you would turn into that animal, and it scared the hell out of me to know that my mother was a snake.

I used to believe, after my uncle told me when I was about five, that if you ever happened to fart, burp, hiccup, cough, and sneeze at the same time, you'd blow up and die.

Now I know better cause I have common sense.

I used to believe…

When I was three years old I had a 2 week old little sister, and a father that drank beer before he went to bed at night. My grandfather told me that you are what you eat. So,when I was giving my good night kisses that night I told my dad he was going to turn into a beer can and my sister was going to turn into a boob.

I used to believe (thanks to a friend who's mom had breast cancer) that you could get breast cancer by wearing a bra to sleep at night!

I thought there was a little workman in my butt working behind a door. When I had to poop I thought the workman was kicking the door because he had a wheel barrow full of poop that he needed to push through the door. The longer I made him wait the harder he kicked and if I waited too long he'd kick the door down and throw the poop out at an inconvenient moment.

I used to believe…

To begin, you need a bit of background on my family: Dad's a lawyer, Mom's a medical researcher. And they're a bit careless with their references.

Anyway, I found a book called the Amazing Machine about the human body, and, being at the time in my machinery-fascination stage, started reading.

Then after dinnertime, I sat at the table and waited for several minutes. When Mom noticed me, she asked what I was waiting for.

To which I replied, "For someone to bring in this can of gas we're supposed to pass around after we eat."

I used to believe…

WHEN MY DAD WOULD FART HE WOULD ALWAYS SAY, "DID YOU HERE THAT FROG?"WE WOULD SAY YES AND IT STINKS.

i used to believe i would become disabled & unable to walk if i ate an icicle my uncle walt who was disabled

I was told that thunder was the sound of clouds bumping together after being split by lightening. Therefore, I believed farts were the sound of turds bumping together in your bowel.

I used to believe…

When people said they had a cataract I thought that meant that a bad kitty had scratched their eye and it caused permanent damage.

I used to think when I farted a brown bubble came out,so everytime I had to fart I went to a mirror to see if I could see the bubble.

p.s. I could never see that brown bubble.

I used to believe…

When i was about 6 or 7 my mum always used to say to me that i would have to be in bed before the moon came out. she said if i wasnt in bed then the moon man would come out and get me. when i realised it wasnt true i felt so stupid and all my friends just laughed at me!

I used to believe…

As a child my mother would tell me, "Don't sit on cold cement or you'll get piles!" (hemorrhoids)

I used to believe…

My dad had diptheria as a child in the early thirties, but having survived that major killer disease, he has never had any of the usual stuff like measles, chicken pox, mumps etc - all highly infections, and him with two children who caught the lot! Is it any surprise that I always thought that, if you survived diptheria, you would never get ill again, and was quite disappointed to discover that I had been immunised against it!!