body functions

I used to believe…

When I was 3-4, I thought that when I had to go to the bathroom, I had to pull down my skirt *and* my undies. It was a while before I figured out that you could just lift your skirt up instead of removing it!

I was once told that if i closed my eyes that I would suddenly be hundreds of feet up in the air. I believed this for many years and whenever I tried to do it that I wasn't closing them hard enough. So I continued to try until I asked the person who had told me, I think it was my babysitter, to show me. When she tried she also failed and I soon realised that I would never be able to tell if I had so I gave up trying.

I used to believe…

when i was about five years old, i woke up and stood on my cabin bed, breathed in deeply and then flew around my bedroom before landing on the floor and climbing back into my bed and falling asleep. to this day there's a part of me that believes i really did fly and that it wasn't just a dream...

I used to believe…

A friend of mine is afraid of chickens because of her grandmother swinging a live chicken over her head when she had chickenpox. Her grandmother believed it would help the chickenpox to go away.

I used to believe…

During the height of The A Team's popularity I was given a Mr T pencil eraser, I was absolutely convinced that if I squeezed the eraser hard and long enough Mr T's facial expressions would change from angry to happy, I swear it happened once, then again perhaps not, unless.....

I used to believe…

In elementary school, everyone believed in cooties, and would give eachother "cootie shots". It would go something like "circle, circle, dot dot, now you have a cootie shot". I never really believed in cooties, and I never knew what they were, but I always thought if I didn't have a cootie shot my friends wouldn't talk to me anymore!

I used to belive that at night there would come a man and he would cut of my ears. I could never decide if I should face the wall and not see him when he came or seeing him.

I used to believe…

When I was about 8, a friend in the playground told me one break-time that if you pushed too hard while having a "poo", that your brains came out of your bottom. I've never forgotten this and am always a little cautious when it gets to that crutial moment!

I used to believe…

My mom has always said, "bowel movement" in reference to using the bathroom, (#2). When I was little and asked her why she said that, she explained that a bowel movement was what made our poop come out. So naturally, I thought that meant there was something inside of us called a "bowel", and that when ever IT moved around, it forced our poop out. It wasn't until some time later during a bad stomach ache that I suggested to my mom that, "...maybe my bowel was broken", when she realized I had the wrong idea, and explained things a little better.

I used to believe that air moved only in and out through the mouth when we breathe, and not the nose. When our mouths were closed, the air could squeeze through between our lips because the molecules of air are so small. My mom disproved this to me by having me hold my nose, close my mouth and then try to breathe. I was shocked!

I was about 4 and the first Superman was shown on TV. After the film finished, I thought I could fly like Superman. So I got onto the coffee table then 'flew' off. Then I knew I couldn't fly as my face got caught up in the gas fire grill (it was off at the time) and cut my face in several places, which one of these has turned into a noticeable scar under my lip.

I got tricked into believing that singing a certain song would blow up certain parts of the mountain. How else could they have made those huge stone quarries?(i remember it was a kinda catchy melody and the text being like... |||:Blow up the mountain :|||, HEY!

I used to believe…

Noticing that saliva had a habit of squirting out of my mouth on occasion, I asked my mother about it, and referring to the sublingual salivary gland, she said that it was due to a gland beneath my tongue. However, I misheard "gland" as "clam," and the next time the gland unleashed a jet of saliva, I told my father that it was from a clam in my mouth.

I used to believe…

Until I was about 8 or 9 I believed that most people understood what was meant by the term "going grunties".
My mum says it originated from when I was tiny and used to make huge, exaggerated grunting sounds whilst trying to dislodge a number 2, but I had completely forgotten about that and thought it was an accepted term for a terd!
Imagine my embaressment when I was laughing at someone else for committing the cardinal sin of pooing in the school toilets and came out with "you can't go grunties at school!" only for the entire pack to turn on me instead! Serves me right for being a meanie in the first place, though.

I used to believe…

when I was about 3 or 4, I used to have dreams that I could fly down the stairs in my house. at that age I had trouble differenciating between dreams and reality. This led to a trip to the ER and 3 stitches in my head.

I used to believe…

To this day, I don't know if it is true, but after reading Silence of the lambs I thought your faeces changed colour as it hit the air coming out of you... Although I was 13 at the time it still fascinated me and I used to try and have a look. It was sort of like having a Gloal Hypercolour T shirt in your body. I don't look now.