body functions

I used to think farts were called Kermies.. so I always associated them with Kermit the Frog. I got laughed at in PRESCHOOL for that one!

I thought only 5 or 6 people in the world had AIDS. This was the late 1980s/early 1990s. Even though many people were talking about AIDS at that time, I knew it was a "rare disease". I also was aware of Ryan White, so I figured if people got famous only for having AIDS, not many people had the disease.
My school gave me some facts about AIDS which cleared my misunderstanding.

I used to believe…

Until i was 8 years old, i used to believe that whenever you swallow the seed of the particular fruit that you were eating, it would grow as a tree from your stomach!! I was very careful not to swallow any seeds until realisation dawned on me later!

I used to believe…

When I was three or four I was convinced I had super binocular vision if i touched my index fingers to my thumbs and held them up to my eyes. I also thought I could disguise myself if I puffed up my cheeks and walked with a limp. Clearly, the neighbors thought I was retarded.

I used to believe…

My grandpa, who was the Champeen Farter of the East Coast, used 1 of 3 excuses when he'd rip a good one.

(imagine a thick Slovenian accent here, if you can:)

(1) (looks at floor) "Floors creakin'"
(2) (looks out window) "Thunder"
(3) (looks at me with big smile) "Frogs"

I used to believe…

When I was 4 I had a very high fever and my mom took me to the emergency room. I complained about being cold, so the nurse gave me a paper-like sheet to cover up with. I refused to use it because I belived that if I fell asleep and the doctors saw me all covered up they'd think I needed to be operated on and take me into surgery.

I used to hate to go poo. But my grandmother convinced me that if I didn't poo, it would come out of my mouth. Just like a fart can be reversed as a burp.

I used to believe…

when i was little i believed that when i have just had a wee and if i never wiped my privates, it would open up (while i was asleep) and a big green monster would come and eat me up!!!

I used to believe…

My father, who was in the army, once told me that soldiers, while in the field, were encouraged to urinate on their feet in order to cure their athlete's foot (something about the natural ureaic acid). Since my father suffered from persistent athlete's foot nearly all of his adult life, which I thought was absolutely disgusting, I became paranoid about contracting it and insisted on taking showers so that I could use that opportunity to pee on my feet. This started at the age of 5. My mother finally caught on to what I was doing and forced me to take monitored baths, as well as prohibited my father from teaching me any more fun science facts.

I was firmly convinced that the need to go pee could be countered by consuming an absorbent food, such as crackers or bread. The rationale being that the bread or crackers would absorb the pee, and then you'd buy some pee-time, since poop takes longer to make.

I used to believe…

6th grade is when they begin to teach sex education and i always thought that when a guys hits puberty that when he pees there would be sperm in the urine and i never got into any pool after i learned that coz i knew that everyone pees in the pool. i learned to love showers and bathtubs afterwards.

I used to believe…

When I was 10 my brother told me that if I didn't blow my nose and just sniffed, I would get hemorrhoids in my nose. I believed it.

I was once told that if you farted while making a funny face or gesture with your body, you would stay with that expression or in that position forever. I told myself that it was rubbish, but never really had the guts to try it.

I used to believe…

I used to believe there was a ‘dream plan’, whereby all my dreams had already been scheduled for life. I tried to resist taking a nap in the afternoon because if I had a nice dream that was scheduled for that night, I might end up having a nightmare later on when it was dark. I finally gave up on this belief when I realized that just the opposite might happen as well.

I used to believe…

When I was a kid in Malaysia I used to think that Caucasians never had to poo because none of them ever did on TV or in the movies.

I used to believe…

One of my female cousins, when she was quite young, saw one of my male cousins, who was also quite young at the time, going to the bathroom. She thought he was peeing out of his belly button and went yelling to her mom, "Mom, Sam is going to the bathroom out of his belly button, why can't I?"