body functions

I once accused my sister of farting. My mother then proceeded to tell me that girls don't fart until after they have children, to account for her frequent "outbursts" of gas.

I use to believe that when you went to sleep you left you body and went to stand before God. He would ask you questions and give you instructions then you were returned to your bed. Of course when you woke up in the morning your had no memory of the meeting.

I used to believe…

When I was 9 years old I used to wonder why when I went to the bathroom in a public place, noone else really was there. For some odd reason I believed that everybody had to go to the bathroom at the same time.

I used to believe…

When I was 4 I overheard my Dad say that his drink went down the wrong whole after he started coughing. After that I was convinced that Liquids and Solids went down differnt pipes when you ate. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how I was suppose to eat stew.

I used to believe…

When I was small I believed that there
were small people in my stomach that ate the food i ate and there were smaller people in thier stomach who ate the food they ate. My father then explained the digestive process in his usual scientific way and for a long time i thought there were stone mill rollers in my stomach that ground the food into atoms and i absorbed the electronic energy from it.I guess I knew there was energy in batteries and somehow thats how it all translated to me.

I used to believe…

When I was a kid I used to belive that when you hurt yourself there was only a certain amount o pain it could cause. I could regularly be oung squeezing my cuts and bruises with tears streeming down my face! Whoops.

I used to believe…

When I was a little kid I thought that if you gave somebody your cold you would no longer be sick. So when I had a cold I would kiss people and then give them two short breaths in their faces to give them my cold. Nice kid. 

I used to believe…

I used to belive that when u burped,u farted thru your mouth. 

I used to believe…

When I was little, my Mom took to the docor for a check up. During the physical, the Dr. handed me a cup and said, "Go behind that curtain and make some water in this cup for me." Dumbfounded, I went behind the curtain and looked around for chemicals or something I might try to mix to make water. After about 5 minutes my Mom came to see what was the problem and explained what the Dr. really wanted.

I used to believe…

When I took a crap,I used to think I was having a baby and was always surprised not to find a little fetus floating in the toilet.

I used to believe…

My dad always insisted on using the correct anatomical terms for just about everything, although I thought they were just our family's "made-up" words for those things. When I got to first grade and had my first check-up by the mean old school nurse, I was horrified when she asked me if I "had made a B.M." I thought she must have been related!

I used to believe…

Anytime my mom or dad would punish me, I believed that I could fly. I used to fly all around the house and anytime they tried to spank me, I would fly higher and higher. Man, if only that was true...I'd fly right out of here!

i used to think if you dreamed about rape , you would get raped

I used to believe that I could fly if I flapped my arms. I tried it once when I was about 5, by running down a hill and leaping skywards at the curb. Bloody knees! Apparently, my mind still believes it as I often dream of flying (I'm over 50 now) although I always seem to get tangled up in the power lines.

I used to believe…

My mother told all 5 of us kids that if we swung on the doors we would get the chicken pox. Sure enough, all five of us got the disease.

I used to believe…

Tonsillectomy! (You should have a section for meidcal procedures and surgery) Went through it, got the ice cream for a week afterwards. Later in the doctor's office for follow-up I just INSISTED that No, they had not taken out my tonsils! My mother and the doc just stared at me, incredulous.