body functions

I used to believe…

my mom used to tell me she knew I was tierd and it was time for bed. When I would protest and say I wasn't tierd she told me she knew that I was because she could "see the Stars i my eyes" I would believe her and fall asleep. It wasn't until I was about 18 when I realized the "stars" mom was talking about was actually the glare of the light in the room!

I used to believe…

When I was younger, someone told me that if you have one of those "falling dreams" (you know where you think you are falling over something, and you jolt yourself awake) and you really hit the ground, you would die. I was afraid to go to sleep after that.

I used to think I could make my friend dream he were outside in a cold wind if I blew in his face as he slept. I actually did this a couple of times during sleepovers. Good grief, what might he have thought of me! He never asked about it, though.

I used to believe…

When I was 5 years old, I was sick with chicken pox for several days before something very tragic happened . . . I was getting ready for my bath when I found that I was actually sprouting feathers!!! I was absolutely convinced that I was turning into a chicken. My mother did her best to explain to me that it was simply a feather from my feather pillow stuck to one of the chicken pox sores, but for the longest time I would argue with her.

I used to believe…

When I was in early grade school, I thought that my mother knew everything that I did and everyone that I met. I would refer to kids at school and couldn't figure out why she didn't know who I was talking about. Last year my son walked home from kindergarten with a friend, he said he thought I would know where he went without his calling me!

I used to believe…

when I was younger I was positive that there are people that can actually read minds. Just like that girl on Star Trek (the next generation). So whenver I was in a crowded place, like a bus I tried to only think good things. Just in case anybody there can actually read them. I was worried that if I thought anything bad somebody would tell my parents and I'll be grownded.
It still kinda freaks me out sometimes, like if I'm on the bus and I'm thinking something sexy, than at least 1 other person knows I'm thinking about it.

i thought that when i got a splinter, if i didn't get it out of my skin right away, that it would get into my blood stream and flow straight to my heart, causing a heart attack.

I used to believe that everybody breathed in and out at exactly the same time. I would watch my family and notice them breathing at the same time as me. I didn't question it until I found out that it would be impossible.

I used to believe…

My cousin once got some Super-man pajamas, complete with red cape, as a child...

He suddenly thought he really was Superman, and climbed out his 2nd-story window onto the porch and jumped off, thinking he could fly.

If his dad hadn't been walking up to the porch at that moment and caught him, he'd would have found out he couldn't fly the hard way.

I used to believe…

When I was eight or so, I had a nerve or muscle spasm occasionally in my left buttock. It seemed to me then that it pulsed at the same rate as my heart, ergo, I had two of them, one in my butt and one in my chest. I was convinced that if I told anyone about it, I would have to be put away in the home for weird little kids with two hearts or some equally dreadful place. Yikes!

I used to beleive I had a super-power of strength and speed when I touched my neck with my two fingers on my right hand. Like when I was in a race with the neigborhood kids I would touch my neck and 'get a burst of speed'. Yeah, I was quite a nut.

I used to believe that I could breathe underwater. I mean, water has oxygen too, right? I distinctly remember laying face down in the pool in the back yard, and slooooowly breathing water in a bit at a time, until I was comfortable breathing underwater. I mean, I can still look back and REMEMBER doing this. I KNOW it's impossible, but.....

I truly believed that if a friend and I both laid on the floor in a straight line with the soles of our feet touching, we could walk straight up into the air. I'd pick up my right foot and my friend would pick up her left, then we'd just be able to "walk" up as far as we'd like. (It never did work.)

I used to believe…

when i was about six, my dad told me that only girls farted, because he was trying to put the blame of his farts on my step-mum. i believed him up until i was about ten when i realised that boys did indeed fart.

I used to believe…

rude-bits, I remember my friends telling me that if I masturbated my eyes would get slanted like an oriental person. Then a band called "The Vapors" came out with a song called "Turning Japanese." The song is about masterbation. AS you can probably tell I wouldn't touch the thing for a long time!

I used to believe…

My mother told me this about my brother.

He used to watch the Superman live-action TV show and thought if he had a cape, he could fly. But there was a condition.

Superman, on TV, his cape always was straight as a board. So when Rob would tie a towel around his neck, he thought if he could run fast enough that the towel would fly out straight as a board behind him, he could fly while holding his arms out.

But how would he know if the towel-cape was straight if he didn't look back to check on it now and again? That's when he turned to look back at his towel-cape and ran into a tree... You must always watch where you're going.

I used to believe…

My father was evil.

I used to watch the Wonder Woman live-action TV show, and when the show was over, I would spin around in the livingroom, like Wonder Woman did, thinking if I spun fast enough, I met get her swimsuit, the truth-telling lasso, and all her outfit.

Dad would encourage me while mother would scold him. "Keep spinning! Faster! I think I see the lasso!" "Gayle! Stop that! You'll make her so dizzy she'll get sick!" "I see the tiara! Keep going!"

I'd spin until I fell over onto the couch and couldn't stand up straight, and he'd tell me he was sure I'd get it next time. I totally believed him.

I used to believe that you ate until your body filled up, and then you got sick and thru up to make room. I always wondered why I didn't get sick more often when I was full.