body functions

I used to believe…

When I was about 6 years old my mother told me "Mom's don't fart." I actually belived for most of my childhood that when a woman becomes a mother they lose their ability to fart.

I used to believe that I could fly. When I was very small, we lived in a fifth floor walk-up. I believed that all I had to do was put my hand on the banister and I flew up all five flights. The funny thing is, I still have distinct memories of doing this. I am 55 years old.

I used to believe that if you walked outside in the cold with your shoes off you could get a cold.

I used to believe…

wen i was small i used to believe that if i swam long ehoufh i will grow a tail and turn into a mermaid...i tried really hard , especially after seeing th cartoon film "the little mermaid"

I couldn't understand how the medicine used to know where in your body was sore. How did it know whether you had a toothache or a tummy ache? I thought my mum must give it directions as she poured it onto the spoon.

I used to believe that if you took a broom outside and said, "Star Light Star bright the first Star I see tonight I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. I leaned the broom against a ladder and wished that it would become a flying broom. It never did (but I learned from a friend it was because I looked back for a second time at the star I'd made the wish on. That made the wish null and void.) I have yet to be able to NOT look at that star after I've made my wish.

I used to believe…

When I was a child I used to believe that if I went to the toilet in the water at the beach on holiday in the north part of Australia, when I went home it would follow me to the south part and meet me on the beach there!!

I used to think that if I hit myself hard enough in the right spot on my head, I could knock free the 80% of brain we don't use, and would become super-human. This resulted in many tragic childhood accidents involving books and walls

I used to believe that my father could make it stop raining, because one day he stepped outside during a hawaiian shower and said "I command you to stop" Low and behold the rain stopped. Of course now that I live in Hawaii, I realize that he had a 75/25 chance that it would stop, as our showers are short!
But for many years, I was a true believer!

I used to believe…

One evening when I was about seven years old I accidentally zapped myself while plugging in a fan. I knew this was how people got super powers and was very disappointed when I was unable to conjure lightning or zap my sister at will. I figured I had not been zapped enough so I shocked myself several more times on purpose over the next year or two and to this day I am pathetically normal. Kind of.

I used to believe that people would not grow if they did not do poo.

I used to believe that adults had necklaces, sort of like amulets, which allowed them to hear other people's thoughts. It therefore made sense that my parents were always saying they knew what we were thinking.

I use to believe that if I covered my eyes with my hands that I would become invisible. I guess I thought that if I couldn't see anybody than no one could see me. I remember being surpised when I hid in the closet because I was naughty and had my hands covering my eyes and my mom still found me!

I used to believe…

When I was about 10, I would wake up some mornings with an intense need to pee accompanied by a rather embarassing erection. I used to think that my penis was full of urine, making it firm and much bigger than normal.

I used to believe…

My sister used to think that food would reconstitute in your stomach after you swallowed it. All those bits of apple would come together to make a whole apple once you had finished it. Presumably, your stomach would break it down again...

I used to believe…

My mother toilet trained us with the water running from the faucet. She believed that it was the power of suggestion. To this day, if I am sitting near a fountain or if I hear running water, I have to pee immediately.