body functions

I used to really believe that Savlon was called "better cream" and that it said "especially for little boys that have bumped their heads" (or whatever injury it was I was crying about) on the side of the box.

I used to believe…

Every birthday, from the age of 4 until I was 8, when I blew out the candles on my birthday cake I would wish that I was "bionic". The next morning, when I woke up, I would be really excited about my new bionic powers and rush outside to test them by lifting the (suitably heavy) family car... It turns out that I hadn't become bionic after all.

I used to think that plastic surgery actually involved using plastic.

I used to believe…

At school there used to be this stuff which was like blu-tack but pink and they came in little square 'tablets'; I think they were called 'Pritt Buddies' and you used them for putting up posters etc. However, my mates brother told us that they were strength pills. To demonstrate he threw a stone 'as far as he could'. Then he chewed a 'strength pill' and... wow! that went MUCH FURTHER. We started chewing pritt buddy and throwing stones, balls etc all over the place until one of the teachers caught us and sent us to the headmistress...

I used to believe…

well, not mine. but I remember trying to explain to a friend when we were both about 9 that tescticles were not used to store urine (and thus allow men to pee longer).

I used to believe…

My mother told me that you only had a certain amount of breaths in your life, this was so I didn't talk to much. This made me believe that athletes would die really young because of all the heavy breathing they did.

I used to believe…

My sister, she couldn't sleep unless the bedroom door was left open .... *I* dreaded sleep, huddled under the blanket, staring at the black darkness of the stairwell beyond the door, fearful of what might slowly emerge ... (in my mind?)

I thought I could fly. No - really.

I remember flying round the sitting room while my mum was ironing it was like swimming through the air and it was probably a dream.

I used to believe…

On the subject of pee, I thought that given that girls lacked the male plumbing, that they therefore peed out of their bums ...

I used to believe…

When I was little I thought that my urine was stored in my scrotum until I needed to wee.

I used to believe that if someone broke their arm, leg etc. that this meant that they had actually broken it off completely. I would then look for the join in the skin.

I believed that if you held your breath, then your heart would stop during the time that you were holding your breath ... and start again when you started breathing.