body functions

I used to believe that when my stomach growled, it was a big empty pit with a growling tiger in the bottom pacing around waiting for me to throw food down to it.

I didn't understand why women sat when peeing (my mother) so I assumed that they peed out of their butt

I used to believe…

when i was little i had a splinter in my foot and i had to go to the hospital to get it removed and the doctor told me he had to rub bug juice on it to make it better. IT WAS IODINE

I used to believe that everytime I ate, the food filled me up from toe to head. I would measure stuff like up to my knees.

I used to believe that little men in a thermometer pushed the mercury up when the heat got too intense, they stopped moving up when they got back to the same temperature as in the medicine cabinet. (where we keep medical supplys)

I used to think that a staph infection was called a staff infection, therefore only teachers could get it.

I used to believe…

When I was very young I knew that only boys had penises. That was the extent of my knowledge though as I thought girls weed out of their bums ;)

I used to believe that if you wore your socks to bed, they would turn into poop.

I used to think they if you farted with you pants on, the fart would stay in my pants and go back up your butt, and you'd never stop farting. So I used to pull down my pants to fart.. I stopped because it got embarrassing having to run and hide at school!

I used to believe that when you got scurvy you'd grow scales. I don't know why. my dad always told me to eat my oranges or else I'd get scurvy. I didn't eat an orange till I was about eight. I wanted to be a fish.

I used to believe that a yeast infection was something you could get from eating "bad" bread.

I used to believe that it was perfectly OK to pee on the tire of someone's car. My Dad told me this was what you were supposed to do at tail-gate parties. Meanwhile, he and buddies were probably laughing their asses of, drunk on beer.

I used to believe…

When I was young I believed that you stored up speed. So, if I wanted to race someone I would laze around for an hour or two to gain an advantage. Because of this and my neurotic nature I believed I should NEVER EVER run my fastest, just in case I ran into a cheetah and needed all my speed. I was the slow kid in gym class and would always feel superior as the other kids darted past me, thinking a cheetah would eat them right up

I used to always get the hiccups from laughing too much, so I thought they were caused by smiling. So, logically, I thought the way to get rid of them was to frown a lot. Problem was, hiccupping makes me giggle, so I would physically use my fingers to hold the corners of my mouth down as I tried to rid myself of those pesky giggling hiccups.

i use believe that when someone went to the bathroom on a plane, when they whould flush the toilet that there buisness whould come out of the plane and go on fields.

I used to believe that if I slept with my hand on my chest, I could feel if my heart ever stoped... So I did it to feel if I was going to die...