body functions

I used to believe…

When I was small, someone with a cold said they had a frog in their throat. Up until I was about 12, I thought that when you got a cold little frogs lived on your tonsils :3.

I used to believe…

growing up I had an eccentric aunt who told me that if you concentrated hard enough, you could move objects with your mind. Well, whether this is true or not, I never managed it. But I remember sitting for hours on the couch looking at things on a shelf and staring at them until my eyes hurt. And after a few intense minutes of staring down whatever it is I was trying to levitate, I would dramatically break my concentration from the object and act all out of breath, thinking "Almost, I almost had it that time!"

I used to believe…

When I was young I believed that if you farted while you were at a gas station, that you had to hold your breath or the gas thingies would explode.
I also belived for a while that if you farted while you were next to a lamp, and if you farted right on the light bulb, it would turn on. Lol. :3

I used to believe…

The first time I remember having to go poopoo outdoors, I was suprised to soon find flies swarming around my turd that I'd dropped in the woods. I got the idea that that was where where flies came from, that they'd been made in my poo while it was still inside me. For a long time after that, I couldn't bring myself to flushing my dooky down any potty, thinking that would be drowning the poor flies that I gave birth to.

I used to believe that the tissues in a tissue box were the same tissues that made up our bodies. I would routinely snack on tissues with the hopes of growing big and strong by 'feeding' my body tissues.

I use to believe that because it was cold outside and you could see your breath, that if I farted everyone could see it come out from my butt ((somehow through what i was wearing)) just like you could with your breath.

I used to believe…

When I was about 9 I was laying on my stomach as my mother was shaking down the thermometer, when she accidentally smashed it on my dresser, sending glass and mercury flying onto the bed. She got me very nervous because it came into contact with my exposed skin and said it can "seep through and cause mercury poisoning," For the next few years, I tried to justify my grades in school by saying that I had "mercury poisoning" and it slowed me down.

I used to believe…

Up until I was about eight years old, to get me to bathe thoroughly, my mom would often tell me that if I didn't clean my bottom good enough that I would develop worms inside my bum. Said worms would then slither out of my bum late at night. I made sure to keep my privates as clean as possible.

I used to believe…

Like many children, I had my tonsils removed when I was young, but I also had my Pharyngeal tonsil (also known as "adenoids") taken out. Having no idea what tonsils or adenoids look like, I somehow got the idea that tonsils look like Corn Pops cereal, and adenoids look like dried rosemary leaves (which my mother had on a spice rack)!

I used to believe…

When I was potty training, my mom put my doll in a bowl next to my potty chair. Once, there was "pee" in her bowl/potty chair. I had believed that she had gone potty for a really long time until I was old enough to figure it out on my own what had happend that day.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I heard the rumors floating around that girls dont have a peepee. "How do they pee?" I would ask and seemed to always get the answer "Sitting down". I believed girls peed out of there butt for a good 4 years.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I knew that "wee-wee" was stored in the bladder. But for some reason, I thought that "B-M" was stored in the buttocks. Explained why your butt tended to stick out a bit. Of course, it never occurred to me to check for any change in size after "unloading."

i used to believe that when you farted, a cloud of green gas would come out of my arse

I used to believe…

Apparently, my mom and her friends were very ladylike. Until I was about 23 and living with my fiancee, I was utterly convinced that females were physically incapable of farting.

I visited a family friends farm every primary school holidays and one of their older son's told me that if I jumped in cow paddies I would grow to be really tall. Sorry to say...it didn't work. I'm now 40 and just the average 5"2.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I used to believe that, when pooing, little yellow birds that lived in my intestines would push the poo out of me. They wore hard hats with lights on them like little miners. They used pick-axes and shovels and toiled away in my colon all day and all night preparing the poo. Then, when I had to go, a loud air horn would go off and they would know it was time to start pushing. I am not, as you might imagine, obsessed with pooing as an adult.