body functions

I used to believe…

when i was little, my parents put a jar on top of the refrigerator, and anytime any of us farted or belched, we had to put a whole dollar in the jar....boy, did i lose my weekly allowances very quickly.....

I used to believe…

When I was young my mom and Grandma would always tell me every time your tummy rumbles it's because a gremlin lived in there and I was scared because of the movie Gremlins

I grew up on the family farm and when I was very little - like 5 - I sneezed. My uncle told me every time I sneezed I lost brain fluid out of my nose and I needed brain fluid for my brain to work. I was terrified if I lost too much brain fluid, I'd be stupid. Which explained why old folks forgot things.

I sneezed with my nose pinched closed for years. Ouch!

I grew up with a cardiovascular condition that required open heart surgery. My parents took me to the doctor for a check-up and I started screaming like a raving lunatic. I got covered in sweat and started crying and my brother even swears I pee'd on myself. My parents finally calmed me down and asked what was wrong. My brother told me that when I went into the doctor's office he was going reach into my chest and pull out my heart, fix it, and then put it back in. He had seen it on one of those Indiana Jones documentaries our father watched...

I used to believe that the reason my grandfather was deaf was because he was forced to eat frogs while stationed in the south pacific during world war II. He just didn't want to tell me that it was because a grenade detonated close by while he was sleeping. I believed that until I was 16 and told the story at the dinner table. The whole family got a good laugh.

I used to believe that brains were a bunch of staples hanging on a rack in your head and when you needed to think or you touched something hot, the appropriate staple would flatten out and race down to the appropriate place, telling it what to do, i.e., "pull your hand away, quick, that's too hot!"

I used to believe…

When I was i kid I used to believe that if i strained too hard while doin #2 I would poop my lungs out...

I used to believe that when you dream, the dreams rose up out from your mind, but if you slept in front of a mirror the dreams would be reflected back on you and cause nightmare. I still don't like sleeping in front of mirror.

I used to believe…

When I was little someone once told me that when you sleep your body became invisible. So If was asleep and their body was still there, I always thought either they were just pretending to be asleep or they weren't into a deep sleep yet.

i remember once when myyy family went camping my uncle told us that when he was little their mom told them that if they peed in the fire they'd wet the bed...i believed that until i was 14 and my boyfriend peed in a fire he had at his house...

I used to believe…

When I was really little, I used to pull the covers up to my neck before I went to sleep. I figured that if someone broke into the house and came into my room, they wouldn't hurt me because OBVIOUSLY I was just a head on a pillow. Since the rest of me was covered, no one could tell that it existed except for me.

I used to believe…

my sister used to believe that you couldn't pee and poo at the same time, so she would hold her pee in until she was done pooping, then wipe and flush and then try to pee...she ended up with bladder infections from holding it in all the time.

I use to believe when i was a little kid i would hear baseball anouncers on TV say "the pitchers arm is on fire after that fast ball!" i actually believed you could catch your arm on fire if you threw a baseball fast enough, so I would go out to a baseball field by my house and throw against a fense as hard as i could, i thought that i could see smoke when i threw the ball. i figured i could only throw smoke because i wasnt a grown-up yet so i cant throw fire. looking back i realize that the smoke i thought i saw was dust picked up on the baseball but i really thought i could throw smoke!

I used to believe…

All I knew that was different between a man and a woman when i was little was that a man stood up to go to (use) the bathroom and a woman had to sit down. So I came to the conclusion that also men didn't poop because that would mean they would have to sit do it.

i used to think if you put ur butt on somes ones butt and farted into it you could give them ur fart and then that person could fart it out.

I used to believe…

In my family, whatever you are given to eat, should be eaten all and the plate should be empty.When i didn't want anymore, my mom would say "one more for mommy" and i thought that if i didn't eat it that my mom would die. Others would say "one for grandma" or for other people, which made me eat EVERYTHING until it was all gone.