body functions

I used to believe…

My mom told me that if i peed in the pool the water would turn purple and everyone would know it was me who did it. Needless to say i have never peed in the pool!!

I used to think that I could teleport. I had a loft bed and, if I wanted to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would have to climb down the ladder and walk all the way to the bathroom. So, I would close my eyes when I was at the top of my ladder. When I opened them again, I would be in the bathroom. I thought I could teleport, but I never told anyone about my secret powers. Now, I guess that I probably was just sleep walking.

I used to think until I was 7 that boys had to hold their penises to piss. I thought they had to squeeze it to pee, like a water balloon. I didn't think it was physically possible for them to wet the bed!

I used to believe…

my mom told me that if i didnt rinse the soap from my underarms completly, that i would get a fever, so I would put soap under my arms hoping i would, so that i wouldnt have to go to school the next day. i still think about it when im taking a shower.

I used to think that when a girl had her period she would just sit down and be lazy (I thought since a 'period' just sort of sits there and doesn't do anything...), for a while and was allowed to be as mean as she wanted to be because she had to sit and do nothing. My mom never gave me any kind of sex talk or period talk, so imagine my surprise when I started bleeding randomly one day. I thought I was sick and I told my mom I had to go to the hospital because I thought a blood vessel in my thigh erupted and I was dying. I was 12, I didn't know anything. She looked at me like I was retarded, shook her head and went, "Uh... welcome to womanhood?"

I used to believe…

when i was little i used to believe in this thing called the sock monster. whenever i would wear socks to bed they wouldnt be on my feet in the morning or even in the sheets so i thought there was a monster under my bed who knew i was wearing socks that night and would crawl under my covers and steal my socks. i still dont like sleeping with socks on

I used to believe…

when i was 5 my mum always used to tell me never to touch the toilet cleaners cos it was very dangerous and toxic...so when she used to clean the toilet and i could see the the bleech in the toilet i thought it would be dangerous if i peed cos my pee would mix with the chemicals and cause an explosion or some sort, when i finaly did pee i would jump off the toilet an flush really quickly soon after i realised that nothing actually happened and it was safe to pee, i never told my mum till years after and she couldnt stop laughing when i finaly did.

I used to believe…

for years i was afraid to throw up because i thought it meant i was possessed like in the exorcist.

I thought that only fat people farted, because people at school never farted and everybody at my school is skinny. I am still not sure that this is untrue as I am yet to hear one of my classmates fart XD

I used to believe…

Thanks to a book explaining how your body works that I read when I was about 4 I thought that there was a poop hole, a pee hole and another hole for those times when you go to the bathroom and do both at the same time. I believed that until I was about 11.

I used to believe…

At one point in my childhood I convinced myself of a false memory I thought I had... The memory was of me drinking from the top rim of a glass somehow... This of course caused me a lot of frustration!

I used to believe that when you ate food, it piled up inside your body and pushed on the top of your head and made you grow taller and when you couldn't grow taller it would pile around your stomach and make you fat.

I used to believe that Chinese people blew on their hands and rubbed them together to wash them.

I used to think that when you went to sleep, that was considered death. So, my friends would come over, and I'd say that I couldn't play, because my parents were dead.

I used to believe…

When i was little i thought that a "vachina" was where the pee came out from girls

I used to believe…

Whenever my family and I went on roadtrips and someone had to go to the bathroom, we would stop at the nearest gas station. My mom would then take me into the handicapped stall, and more often than not, the toilet was clogged or spattered with poo/pee toilet water. For the longest time, I thought that all handicapped people always had dierhea.