body functions

I used to believe…

When I rode in the car with my grandfather, he would "pressure drive". While driving he would say to me "I don't like this guy in front of us, I'm going to pressure drive him to turn." Then he would lean forward and hum until the car in front of us turned. I was convinced that he had special powers. I later realized that he could see their turn signal, but I was too short to see it.

I used to believe that while I slept, rats and mice would creep out of the walls, cut me in half, slide like a disc in, and magically stitch it all together... I figured if I couldn't see myself getting taller, that's how it must've happened.

I'm still amazed I didn't end up in an asylum.

I used to think i could fly

I used to believe…

When I was young I overheard my mom talking about boul buddies. When I heard this I thought she meant that her boul had a buddy soo I asked her when is your boul's buddy coming over. She gave me the most wierd look ever and luaghed!!!!

Turns out she was talking about a type of cookie that helps you go to the bathroom called boul buddies.

I used to believe that news readers didn't go to the toilet as I never saw them get up to go. I also believed that famous actors and actresses, pop stars, famous sports stars, nuns, monks, priests, bishops, the pope, the royal family and politicians never went to the toilet or farted.

I used to believe that the difference between a 'cold' a 'flu' was that if you have the 'flu', you threw-up. I just now was informed that a 'stomach flu' is when you throw-up. Just because you have the 'flu' doesn't mean you are going to puke.

I used to believe that I had a super power and could see through things because when I closed one of my eyes I couldn't see an object because it was behind something, but when I opened both my eyes, I could. Lol, perspective.

I used to believe…

If you swallowed a watermelon seed it would grow in your belly

I used to believe that when you went to the bathroom, more specifically when you were pooping, you had to do the belly roll at the same time. I was probably 8 years old when I realized these were actions that could be performed indepently of each other.

I used to believe…

When I was about six, I was told about someone getting their tonsils taken out. I asked my mom how they did that, and she said, "Well, the doctor just goes in and takes them out." I thought that the doctor somehow shrinks down really small, climbs in your mouth, removes the tonsils, and comes back out and gets back to his normal size! I finally figured out the truth about two years later!

I used to believe that when I started menstruating, I would bleed to death from losing too much blood.

I used to believe…

When I was 3 I had an ear infection. My mom took me to the doctor to have it checked, and he hooked me up to some sort of machine with a screen. He told me that if the car on the screen moved, my ears were magic.

I thought that I had magical powers until I was about 10.

I used to believe I was part of someones dream & when they were awake, I was asleep. When my mom would make me get up for school, I would wish they would wake up so the dream would be over & I could go back to sleep.

I used to believe that bruises were rotten blood.

I used to believe…

When i was around 9 or so my dad told me that if you sleep on your back with your knees bent upward towards the ceiling, little goblins would sit on your knees and make scary faces, causing you to have nightmares. (apparently a South American myth to scare kids. I dont know) But to this day, i'm 25 years old now, if i find myself even laying with my knees bent i still get a little paranoid about those little goblins getting ready to scare me.

I used to believe that adults could read minds, and that it would be kept a secret from me until I was "of age" and the ability developed in me too. So I was really careful not to think about secret stuff when my parents were around!