body functions

I was convinced that if my sister and I concentrated hard enough, she could pee for me if I was busy or too lazy to get up and go to the bathroom. Poor girl, she sat on that toilet forever while I berated her for not concentrating enough.

I used to believe…

When I was younger I had chronic bladder and urinary tract infections which made me have accidents even while in elementary school because I would hold it as long as I possible could due to it being painful to pee, which also attributed to a pee-pee dance you could find me doing often.
I went through a stage where I didn't wear underwear to bed and thanks to my three older sisters who didn't want to have to share a room with a non-underwear wearing little sister while our house was being remodeled, I used to believe that if I didn't wear underwear to bed little elves and dwarfs, the size of specs, would crawl under my blankets and pajamas at night to build cobwebs so I would never be able to pee again. I would cry and cry and cry because I thought I would always have a full bladder and since I could never pee again, I was told I would always have the pain that came from my bladder problems. Needless to say, I was too scared to remain stubborn and they got their way, underwear it was. I'm still a little worried to go without.

i used to think the dots you see in front of your eyes were magic sparkles - if you collected them by keeping your eyes shut instead of losing them by opening your eyes and letting them out, you would learn how to fly =)

I used to believe…

When I was a kid my sister told me that girls don't poop. For a long time I believed that. And now I'm not sure whether girls poop or not.

I used to believe…

when i was a kid i used to think that pooping was pretty much the same as giving birth, so i would always look in the toilet before flushing to make sure that there wasn't a baby in there.

I used to believe that when my mom was out shopping, and I concentrated really hard on an advertisement for some kind of toy (barbie (accessories) most of the time), she would acutally come home having bought me the desired toy.

I used to believe…

Because my mother would always point at the crosswalk sign just as it switched to the "walk" signal when we were about to cross the street, I thought she had a magic talent because whenever I pointed the sign just ignored me. It took me a long time to figure out that it was just timing the red lights.

I used to believe that when you ate, the food would be put in your stomach whole (despite the whole chewing thing..). It'd all pile up, like a bad game of tetris. My aunt led my sister and I to believe there was always room for ice cream though, because of the 'trickle down' effect. The ice cream was the only thing that changed shaped-- it'd slowly make its way down your tummy through the cracks between the foods you've already eaten.

I used to believe that a recurring dream I'd have each time a fever broke was a memory from a past life.

I had to make a choice somehow connected to a large sphere that would determine whether or not humanity would continue to exist. I made a decision and everyone died. I was eight.

I used to believe…

As a child I used to believe that I am special. I covered one of my eyes and thought I can see through my hand.

I used to believe that I "pee-peed" out of the birthmark on my knee.

I used to believe…

When I was about 5 I saw something on a public television show about jaundice. My mom told me that people turned yellow when they couldn't pee! (Apparently she didn't want to discuss kidney failure... go figure.)

Then I got that mixed up with another show about the Masai people and how they drink cow blood and urine (that's what I heard at the time, anyway). Somehow, I believed that if you peed, got any urine on your hands while cleaning up, forgot to wash your hands and then ate something, then the urine would get in your mouth, you would turn yellow, and die.

My parents took me to the doctor to try to sort out why I had a rash on my hands from washing them over and over (at least 30 times a day). When they told me to stop washing my hands so much, I thought they were trying to kill me with my own urine.

I once belived that anything liquid that you ate, such as soup or a drink, would become crap, and all other food would become urine.

I used to believe…

When I was an early elementary schoolboy, I used to believe that if I went to sit on a chair, and it was warm, a girl had been sitting there.

I was a hypochondriac when I was a child. I was always convinced that I had some kind of health problem, and would frequently demand that my mother do something about my imaginary ailments.

When I was around 9, whenever I came to my mother complaining of a stomachache, she would give me some dark green "miracle medicine," which she said had been discovered by natives in the rainforest. It always worked! I would take it, lie down and feel better in minutes. I even remember telling her that I wanted to write a thank-you letter to the village where the medicine was discovered.

I later found out that this "medicine" was water and green food coloring.

I used to believe…

when i was little i always wondered how i went poop, so i somehow came up with the idea that there were 2-inch smurfs in my butt pushing the poop out, so i would always be careful to not squeeze out the working little blue men... i felt bad for them, too...