body functions

I used to believe…

when i was small my dad always used to ask to use the bathroom while i showered. i would peek, but all i could see was the pee going down. i always thought he was peeing out of his belly button!

I used to believe that the mouse in the dungeon of Eureka's Castle-- and this completly reveals my ages, lived in my stomach and would grind up my food. I really don't know why, but that's what I always thought.

I used to think that when people said they had 'butterflies' in their stomach, there were real butterflies flying around inside.

I used to believe that if you stayed on the toilet for too long, a monster's hand would grab your bottom and drag you down to where it lived.

I thought that if I said "Excuse me" enough times, I would be even for all the times I burped as a baby and never said it. I must have said it at least 500,000 times until my teens or twenties just for good measure.

I used to believe…

When I was in middle school, I thought that the X-Men was based on a true story, and since I was around 13 years old at the time, I was just waiting for my mutant ability to appear... (I was hoping it was flight)

I used to believe…

When I was a kid my brother told me that boogers were parts of your brain falling out of your nose. I believed him but it didn't boter me. I just figured brains were supposed to fall out.

I had an alcoholic uncle who had a knack for saying crazy stuff. One time, he sneezed into a napkin, and exclaimed something like "Man, I think I just blew my brains out through my nose!" I totally thought this was possible until I was about 15 years old! Somehow, I also transferred this belief to other bodily functions, and whenever I had a particularly difficult to pass bowel movement, I was terrified that I would poop my stomach out of my butt!

I used to think that tasty meant crunchy so if something was crunch I would ewwww this is really tasty.

I used to think that a "Wet Fart" or "Shart" (fart with a little more to it) was called a "Wet Birdie".
It wasn't until late in highschool I found out that it was just my family who called it that because I made it up when I was very little.

I used to believe…

Until 8th grade I had never heard of a staph infection. All the teachers were talking about a staph infection that was in my school. I thought they meant staff infection, like a disease that was being passed on from teacher to teacher but no students had caught it. (A few of the teachers had been absent already, so I just assumed...) I was really embarressed when I learned what it really meant.

I used to believe…

When I was younger my dad was talking to me about cancer (I don't know why, i think I asked what it was but I really don't remember). When he started talking to me about scientists looking for cures, his laptop, which was on the table near us, shut off and the screensaver (the colorful ball thing that changes shapes) came on. For the longest time I thought that the screensaver thingy was a computer program that scientists made to look for the cure for cancer.

I used to believe…

When I was a kid my brother told me that if I fake coughed then I would get cancer... I believed that UNTIL I found out what cancer REALLY is. To this day I can't believe why I actually believed that.

I used to think that farting was flarting.

i thought split personalities were like having dreams. the dreams i had were all my personalities!

I used to believe…

When i was young we got another story added to our house so i got my own room. I used to think that if any part of my body went over the side of my bed when i sleep witches would chop it of and replace it with a bomb. Then i would have to leave my hand there untill they forgot they changed it and put my real hand back on!