body functions

I used to think that all girls and women could read a boy's mind, and that they all made a big promise not to ever tell any males. Im a teenager now, and occasionaly it still seems true...

I used to believe…

My little sister used ot believe that someone' urine always came out their favorite color. We only discovered this when my mother asked who didn't flush the toilet and my sister ran in, took and look and declared that it was her because it was her color.

I used to believe that my stomach had a tiny mouth inside of it that would help chew up my food. So some days I would swallow food whole and hope that the tiny mouth in my stomach enjoyed eating as much as I did.

I used to believe…

My mom use to babysit these kids when I was in elementary school. Well one of them was this cool 5th grade girl (I was in 3rd grade). She told me that people who pooped were gross and were 'uncool'. I asked her if she pooped and she answered, "Never! I take these pills and it doesn't make me poo!"

I believed her for over a year and kept asking my mother for these awesome poop pills.

I used to believe…

When I was a tot- I thought that when I swallowed food, there were lots of little elf type men chopping it up into smaller pieces as it went down my throat and into my stomach.

I used to believe…

when i was about 5 my nan told me that "my intestines were talking to eachother" whenever my tummy rumbled and i imagined little round black things sitting around a coffee table having a conference in an office. hahaa also i used to look at wallpaper and see weird faces - i was trully a deranged child.

I used to believe…

After watching the film Splash a few too many times when I was little I spent ages laying in the bath, holding the shower over my legs, willing them to become a tail. After about the 4th or 5th time It occurred to me - what would I do if
they did change? I wouldn't be able to swim anywhere so I stopped.

I used to believe…

my mom told me girls shouldnt fart its not lady like. but i found it simply hilarious but every time i did it she gave me this look so once i put a air freshener in my pants and hopped she wouldn't notice.

I used to believe…

My cousin told me that if you peed in a swimming pool the lifeguard would throw the life-ring over you and an alarm would go off!...i never peed in the swimming pool after that!

I was 100% sure that girls peed out of their anuses. Nothing would convince me otherwise, since almost every person I knew (guys) agreed with me while we were in elementary school. This belief eventually faded away with the discovery of porn.

i used to believe little dwarves were in my penis and that there was some type of giant water hose (compared to them) and they would pull a switch and you would pee

I used to believe water went through my body.

I used to believe that there was a television screen in the back of my head, and the students sitting behind me could see what I was thinking.

I had a Deep South grandmother who chewed snuff. She often carried around a little plastic cup lined with Kleenex, where she would spit out the brown juice. I thought she had some sort of old person's intestinal problem which caused her to drip fecal matter out of the wrong end.

I used to believe…

my sister had once told me that if u didn't eat anything and just drank water that on the 3rd day without food u would be able to do any thing u haveen't been able to do before so i tried it but i found out i couldn't even go a day

I used to believe…

When I was a little kid, I knew that girls sat down to pee. So, naturally, I thought they peed out of their butts. I was in disbelief when I learned that there was *somthing else* down there!