body functions

I believed for YEARS that if i peed while i was in a swimming pool a purple circle would appear around me and everyone would know I'd done it.

I used to believe…

The phrase "down the wrong pipe", ie, swallowing the wrong way, led me to believe that I had a whole range of pipes inside me, one for each of the different things I ate. So I would say, "Oh no, my peas went down the apple juice pipe!", etc. I used to wonder how they could all fit, I needed so many of them...

I used to believe…

When I was 3, I walked into the toilet as my Brothers wife (yes my brother is nearly 20 yrs older than me) was taking a pee on the toilet. She used to wear low cut tops and expose her cleavage. The cleavage looked like an ass, so from then on I thought that women used to shit from between their tits. I know better now ;-)

I used to believe…

One time, I was about two, I walked into the bathroom while my dad was in there. He was taking a leak, and since I was so little didn't really care I was in there (you're not supposed to remember things like that so young or something). I saw his penis and thought that all males could poo out their front end, too, because it looked like a big piece of it to me.

I used to believe…

If you eat a banana peal you can fly!!!!!

I used to believe…

Once when I was about 4 or 5 I heard my grandmother telling my aunt that one of my other cousins had a tapeworm and when he went to go poo it started coming out and his mom had to pull it the rest of the way out. This scared me so bad that I thought if I went to go poo, a worm would come out of my butt too so I didn't poo for about 2 weeks. My mom finally took me to the doctor and he had to explain to me that I didn't have a tapeworm.

I used to think that when you ate something, it would just stack up inside your stomach. I had this mental picture of all these foods stacking up inside my stomach and once they would reach the top it would start coming up out of your mouth.

I was sitting in the car when I was about 5 and saw crumbs from potato chips all crushed up on the seat and I asked "Mummy, are they my farts?" my mother had no idea what to say...

I used to believe…

Back when I was little (In preschool), I thought that moms and dads (and all adults) didn't go to sleep. They were awake before me, and stayed up after I fell asleep. so logically, grown-ups must not go to sleep at night!

One time we were playing some make-believe game, and when it was "bed-time" we would pretend to sleep,
except for the dad: "I'm the dad, so I don't sleep"
We all seemed to agree on that without question.

Now that I think about it, that sounds like something someone might say to sound manly:

"Real men don't sleep" :D

I used to believe, up until I was about 7, that boys could only pee if they were standing up and they held their penis and squeezed, like a water balloon. I thought this because that's how I always saw boys peeing. I also had only one sister, so of course, you get lots of crazy ideas about what boys are like.

I used to believe that kings and queens and members of royal families don't fart, wee or poo..

I used to believe…

When i lay down to sleep and heard the noise of the blood in my ears i thought it meant i was going to have a nightmare.

I read the book "The Velveteen Rabbit" when I was a child. It's a story about a young boy who contracts Scarlet Fever, set in a time when they didn't know much about diseases. They ended up having to burn all of the boy's toys, bedding, and stuffed animals -- including his favourite, his velveteen rabbit. I was terrified for years, even into college, of getting Scarlet Fever. I couldn't bear the though of my favourite teddy bear and pillow -- which have been with me my whole life -- being tossed into a bonfire. Scarlet Fever is still one of my biggest fears,

I used to believe…

When I was a little kid I used to think that poop was like stalactites and stalagmites inside your butt. Little tiny people that lived in your butt would come and chop them off with axes, causing you to have to go poop. Occasionally, one would be carried away with the poop and be flushed down the toilet, making me very sad.

i used to believe that the big water tanks were fart tanks and you were assigned to a color according on what color your house was.
so your parents took you when you were sleeping to the top of the fart tanks and stuck a hose up your butt and pumped all the farts for your whole year on new years eve thats why you stayed up so late so you could get to the tanks first. and so whenever we drove pass a tank i plugged my nose so i didnt have to smell all the farts

I used to believe…

Up until the age of about 13, whenever I farted or burped when drinking I would use my hand to scoop out all the air from the cup so I wouldn't be drinking my fart =P