body functions

I used to believe…

The first time I noticed that I could hear my pulse in my ear when my head was on the pillow was when I was sick. My mom came in and felt my forehead and said "Oh good, your fever's going down." So for a long time I thought that the pulse I was hearing was the sound of a fever going down. Boy, I had a lot of fevers, and most of them went unnoticed by grownups, but I could hear them going down when I got in bed at night!

I used to believe…

When I was about 7 or 8, I made a 'Magic potion' that would give me super powers. Basically, I went into every room in the house and poured in a little bit of everything I could find that was liquid or slimy and mixed it all up in my little plastic cup.

My last stop was the bathroom, as I was mixing in the shaving cream, shampoo, liquid soap, toothpaste, and deodorant, I heard my parents calling me. I was afraid they would take it away and give themselves superpowers so that they could take over the world, so I gave the ultimate sacrifice for the good of all mankind... I dumped it all in the toilet and flushed it.

Now that I think about it, I could have drank some of it and THEN flushed it down the toilet. Since i'm still alive, you can tell that I didn't think of that.

I used to believe…

When i was little, my mom would make me go to bed when i didn't want to. So i thought "hey! if i cover up with a blanket and crawl very slowly out of my room she wont see me!"
yea...she did.

I used to believe…

one time i decided to make a "potion" in the sink and I put tons of soap and shampoo and other wierd stuff in it. when I was done with my "potion", i pulled the plug in the sink. afterward i cried endlessly for days because i thought that maybe a homeless person would be thirsty and put their mouth under the drain to drink water and they would get my "potion" and die from poisoning.

i used to believe that one day i would develop laser-ray eyesight and i would use my laser beam to cut down all the trees to the same height... i would imagine this riding in car rides, zipping the tops off trees with my eyes.

I used to believe…

When i was younger i watched an episode of the x-files where the guy fell asleep and when he woke up he was in some hospital with no arms or legs. So i thought if i didnt cover my my arms and legs completly with my quilt at night the same thing would happen to me.

I used to believe…

My whole family goes to a bunch of cottages with eachother every year. there is only five of us who are over the age of ten, the other twelve of us are eight or younger. One day my cousin philip and I decided it would be fun to, trick the younger kids into thinking he could control the weather. We figured out what way the wind was blowing, then got the younger ones. I was standing so the wind would hit me about five seconds before it would hit him, so I'd wave to him when I felt the wind, and he'd start slowly raising his arms. As he did that, the wind would pick up. That was three years ago, and these kids who saw him do that still say "Mommy! look, it's the boy who controld the wind!"

i used to believe that wehn u ate something there were little men in your stomach and they put the food in a bin and if you were goin to be sick they threw it back up your throat

I used to believe that everyone had two stomachs. One was for dinner, and one was for dessert. My family would always eat dinner and tell me how full they were, then they would eat dessert! I just thought this was normal

I used to think that hiccups happened because there were little men in my abdomen that had big sludge hammers and would hit my stomach!

I also used to think that when I had to pee, it was because there were little men in my bladder waiting to get out! :)

I used to believe…

My cousin believed that his poop actually was a camouflaged submarine - akin to 10,000 Leagues Under The Sea. It was luxuriant, draped in fine velvet, had many rooms with crystal chandeliers, and the submariners wore fine evening gowns and tuxedos. The poor odor and grotesque appearance was simply a ploy to prevent curious children from disturbing their venture through the pipes on their way to the ocean - to live peacefully as they explored the reefs and depths. Out of respect, he never chopped a poop in half to see if it was true, in fear of killing the mariners or destroying their fine vessel.
He saw himself, in a way, as a walking and talking shipyard where these vessels were built and manned. The finished product exited his butt to enter the pipes of the toilet. He would never poop anywhere else but in a toilet.

I used to believe that my digestive tract consisted of a log assembly line and that there were tiny factory workers, with hair nets and smocks, carefully pulling out the nutrients from my food. What had no value to my body was the waste... and that is how food became poop.

I used to believe that if someone touched you, they could know what you are thinking.

i used to believe that every night before i went to sleep, i had to say goodnight to every object in the house or they would get mad at me. so every night i would go on "goodnight couch" goodnight table" until i fell asleep.

I used to believe that when my mother went to the bathroom to pee - she would pee out her butt.

I used to believe…

Me and My brother used to believe that we could fly like Peter Pan, I'm sure everyone has, but we thought differently. My brother tried jumping off the couch with his so called "HAPPY THOUGHT" and fell an hit the floor so we assumed that he flew 2 seconds that a happier thought mught let us fly longer. After the stair trial run we didn't believe anymore.