body functions

I used to think that in a hurricane, you could jump out of our 2 story bedroom window and be able to fly like superman. Thank god there wasn't a hurricane by the time i fugure out I was wrong.

I used to believe…

When I was six and my sister was 4, she got a urinary tract infection. All I remember was that there wsa this gigantic poster of a fly zoomed in at the emergency room, and my sister was put into this big machine that my dad told me "it will look at her insides" My sister was crying because she thought it was a monster. As soon as she gto inside it, I asked the doctor "So, are you going to see the mushed up green apples Lauren had for breakfast? (stemmed from the "looking at the insides" part) My mom and my dad broke out in laughter and the doctor wasn't any better. Then they explained it to me, and I thought they were kidding.

I used to believe…

One time I told my younger sister that she has an extra bladder called the "Laughing Bladder". I told her that the function of this bladder was to make her go pee every time she laughed and that it was a condition that only she had. She totally believed me and was asking my dad all about it.

I used to beieve that parent's had powers that could do almost anything. I originated this idea because my mom called me "sweetheart" and I thought I transformed into the candy type.

I used to believe…

Until I was seven, I firmly believed that I could fly if I concentrated hard enough. You don't wanna know how many times I'd jump off of the back of my dad's truck or a tall rock or run half a mile only to jump into the air and come back down again. I actually convinced one of my friends that I could get him to fly too.

I always wondered where did my poop come from... I never knew what it was untill I realised it was my own food, it made me sick... even now.. and I'm not the only one!!

I thought that germs were tiny people and when i was sick, a war between the good germs and bad germs was raging, so i felt all crazy when i was sick.

I used to believe I could take my asthma inhaler underwater and use it as a breathing device. The first time I tried I swallowed a whole mouthful of chlorine water in a split second.

I used to believe…

when i was small i thought that pads were used for women to stop peeing as it looked like a diaper!!!

I used to believe…

When i was younger i heard the phrase "photographic memory" but i wasnt sure what it meant. i came to the conclusion that if you look at something, put your index finger on your temple, and blink, you'll remember what you were looking at, even if it was a page out of a book. i tried doing this to study for tests, and didn't understand why mom kept telling me i had to go study more, when clearly i didn't need to.

I used to believe…

When I was about 4, I used to believe that when people flushed the toilet, their pee and poop went into the sewer (as I had been told)--only I imagined that the sewers were these huge subterranean tunnels with conveyor belts running through them. I thought that the conveyor belts were loaded with all the stuff people flushed and that workers with rubber gloves stood on either side of the conveyor belt sorting everything out and picking out the best pieces of poop. I wasn't sure what qualified as the "best" pieces, but I figured that was part of the job training.

I used to believe…

When I went to the bathroom if I had gum in my mouth I had to take it out because I believed that it would turn into poop if it was in my mouth while and I was going to the bathroom.

i used to think that bodies were empty, that everyone had only skin, and when you ate, your body started filling inside with food, from your toes to your forehead.

I used to believe…

As a child, I was at first very puzzled on learning that one's body contains "organs'. Why do we never hear music from those organs, I thought? One day I was playing cards with two girls from the neighborhood I then lived in, Kelly and Olivia. I decided to share with them my perplexment about organs in the body. They laughed and I didn't know what to make of it, whether they understood what I was talking about, and just what they were laughing at. Later, while we were still playing cards, Olivia farted, and Kelly said, "There -- there's some music from one of Olivia's organs!" Then there was more laughter. I didn't know enough at the time to know what level of understanding that meant Kelly had of the question I had posed, or if she know what bodily "organs" actually are. But today I see she must have had at least some understanding of my question. But was the laughter at that point because kids find farts funny, or becauase Kelly (and maybe Olivia too) understood the difference between bodily organs and the musical instrument of the same name, and maybe found it funny that I didn't know the difference? I guess I'll never know for sure, or whether they were lauging "with me" or "at me".

I used to believe…

When my sister and I where little we would get in bed with my mom when my dad would leave for work at 2am. Every time we would get in bed she would tell us if we farted in bed our feet would turn brown. I believed this for many years. Now I have a son of my own Im going to tell him the same thing because its so funny.

I used to believe…

My Uncle used to pick me up by my belt loops....which, for years after, caused me to continually rip out my own loops trying to levitate myself - now in my 50's I often catch myself wondering if I just needed stronger pants.