body functions

I used to believe…

my ex-girlfriend (who apparently had little sexual experience with guys) was hesitant to perform oral sex after learning that guys didn't wipe after peeing like girls did. She was 18 and just found out that we don't wipe!

I used to believe…

One time I would not cooperate with my mohter when she was trying to take my temperature, so she told me that the little robotic voice that announced my temperature on the thermometer was my father's voice. For the next several illnesses, until I wised up, when she walked in with the thermometer and the vaseline she always said, in a very cheery voice, "you want to hear daddy?" My dad always backed her up on that.

I believed for quite a while that if you couldn't see, you couldn't be seen. Also, everything (to this day) is less scary if watched through a small space. read: a tiny crack in the blanket thats wrapped tightly around your head. :D

I used to believe…

When I would shower, the water would run down my arm and appear to come out of my fingers. For the longest time I thought I had special water powers and that as I got older, I would be able to control them outside of the shower lol

I used to believe…

When I was 4 or 5 I herd my older sister talking about the black plauge and herd it started with fleas. So for weeks I would ask my mother if different animals that I saw got fleas (like monkies or something) she would say yes and I would fear any animal that could get fleas because I didn't want the plauge

I used to believe…

When I was about seven, I thought that whenever I was thinking about something I had to say 'cut' before I could move on to some other thought (like a director moving on to the next scene) My family thought I was weird because I said 'cut' all the time for no apparent reason.

I used to believe that when I went to bed, if I kept my eyes closed and pretended I was asleep, mini versions of the X-Men characters would fly into my room and examine me to make sure I was really asleep. I thought if I opened my eyes while they were in my room they would kill me.

I used to believe…

For several years when I was a child, I shared a bed with my sister who was 7 years older than myself. And one night I got the bright idea to try sleeping with the covers pulled over my head. Well, my sister told me not to sleep with it that high, because I might smother. So I pulled it down below my nose. I thought that was fine, but she told me that it was STILL too high! So I pulled it down to my neck. Again, still too high, so I went to mid chest, and then before it was over, I had the covers down to my waist. After she told me that was good, she turned out the lights and went to sleep, leaving me to freeze. And like an idiot I stayed that way the whole night, too scared to cover up because I thought I'd die if I did. Sadly, it never even occured to me that I'd never smothered to death before...

I used to believe that if girl pee and boy pee got mixed together it would create a baby! I was always sure to flush so my brother wouldn't pee after me. I didn't want any babies to be down in the sewer.

I used to believe…

When my 8 year old brother saw my allergy vaccine (yes, the vial with the vaccine inside it), he thought it was 7-UP. How in the world did he think that such a little vial with a doctor's label could contain 7-UP, which was rarely bought at home, is beyond my grasp. He almost drank it, but he could not get the lid off. And then my mother told him what it was.

I used to believe…

Once I read a Goosebumps book (by R.L. Stine) in which a girl finds some secret ingrediant as well as the recipe and spell for a dough which you eat for flying powers. After I read it, I was convinced that if I got the ingrediants/recipe correct (dough ingrediants except the secret powder which came with the book) then I could make the dough and get to fly.
Of course, I spent months wishing I had that powder. Unfortunately I never found it, but I'm secretly still waiting for MY copy of that book. lol.

I used to believe…

In sex education when we were younger, the girls had a tape to watch about periods and body hair and the like; and the boys had a tape they watched about erections and wet dreams and such. After watching our own videos, we switched and watched the oppostie gender's videos. However, the teacher didn't give us any explanation about what happened to little boys; and the tape was painfully general. Following the scene of poor little Timmy having a "strange accident" in his bed and being too embarrassed to tell his parents, I thought that when boys got older, they all had trouble with peeing the bed.

I used to believe…

my mum told me that when you choked it was because your food had gone down the drink hole. You also have an air hole too! I was very embarrassed when my firends corrected me !

I Use to believe that if i concentrated enough i would be able to move things with my mind, like in that Movie Matilda, and that one day if i kept at it would happen

I used to believe…

You know how when you buy new clothes, the sales tag is attached by this plastic thing, with one side that looks like a T? Well I used to cut that plastic thing in half and touch my sister's arm with it while making a "sssssssssssss" sound because I thought I was sucking out her juice. I called it a "general expexpius".

I used to believe that if I could kiss my elbow that I would turn into a girl (the opposite sex).