body functions

I always used to think that there was a man inside your stomach and he would cry when you were hungry and sort out your food, I also thought that another man (that looked the same) turned the fridge light off when you closed it!

I used to believe…

...that I had seen an alien ship one night while my parents were driving us home one night, and that it had followed us for awhile, and that it had transfered to me the ability to leave my body behind, in the bed while I slept, and hover above the earth, traveling back over places I had seen from the ground, except that I was then able to look down on them from above. I also used to believe, that while I was out traveling, that I could see things that I had not seen in the past, and a few glimpses of things that I would soon see. Most of the time, it would require that I travelled to these places / times repeatedly, until I could remember them after I woke up.
This ended, for the most part, upon a return trip one night, when I awoke at the bottom of the stairs, laying on the floor of the living room of my house, (my bedroom was upstairs, the living room was downstairs.) Thinking that I was on my way back out for another flyby of the place that I frequently went to, I had apparently returned to my body, and instead of levitating down the staircase, I had fallen down, and landed on my face, causing my bottom incisors to cut through my bottom lip.
I eventually learned to better control and govern what I dream about, unfortunately, and it's been a very long time since I have visited the future.

I genuinely used to believe that your lungs were for your food and drink (one each) - this seemed much more sensible to me than Grandad telling me that when I was particularly hungry I must have hollow legs! Surely food couldn't go down there...

I used believe that girls poo looked smells different from boys poo until I saw my sister having a poo.

I used to have this terrible fear that if I fell asleep, I would forget to breathe and die. I would sit there all night (or, as much of the night as I could), trying to stay awake so I didn't die.

I had heard the term "old fart" used disparagingly since as far back as I can remember but I didn't know why "old and "fart" went together but I was never short on imagination. My *final conclusion* as a kid of about six or seven was the result recalling a kind of "fecal" odor that I often smelled when my granduncle (Who was *very* close to me and took me absolutely everywhere with him right up until his death -- just one week before my 9th birthday.) stopped to chat up some rather elderly men, some about his age, most were older. Although my granduncle himself had no such odor I suddenly had the thought that when people got very old, especially men, they couldn't control their bowels very well and no longer could wipe their bums very effectively.Thus, the term "old fart" suddenly *made sense* to me!
I believed this for a very long time and I still don't know the *actual* origin of the term, "old fart."

I used to believe…

When I was 19, I was asked to take a little 3-year-old boy to the bathroom. I got very embarassed and said I couldn't, I didin't know how boys go to the bathroom.

Sad to say I was sexually active, I had just never seen a man go to the bathroom and was unclear as to whether he pooped out of his penis. How dumb!

I used to believe…

when i was 5 my sister told me my stomach was the size of my fist and i didnt understand that it was an organ and it stretched out when you eat a whole lot. for weeks i tried to only eat what i thought would fit in my hand because i was afraid my belly would explode or i would throw up everywhere. then i got really scared i was always going to throw up, at school, at friends house, in a car...everywhere you could imagine. i think i worried about it so much i created tummy aches very often when i was young.

I used to believe…

When I was about 9 I thought that I would have to alternate my chewing so that I wouldn't get a cavity. So after I chewed a bite with my left teeth the next bite would have to be chewed up with the teeth on the right side. I'm 10 now and I know better.

I used to believe…

My mum would always warn me about "Breaking my head" in an accident. I thought that meant you would fall down, and your head would snap off. This was realized in a dream I had when I was 4, about getting roller stakes, (or maybe a stakeboard) for my b-day, and falling off my porch (which had no gate) and my head snapped clean off, bloodying the front yard, with approx. 500 gallons of my blood.

I thought that my very strict father was telepathic and knew what I was doing all the time. I was terrified he knew when I did something wrong. When I figured out he couldn't, boy did I break loose!

I used to believe…

When I was five I heard my parents saying they thought I had broken my leg in a bad fall. While they were driving me to the hospital I pictured them throwing me in the trash can like a broken toy.

i somehow convinced myself if you ate a screw every hour on the hour, on a tuesday, while dancing to mozart's requiem, on the "Day of Wrath" movement, you would get god powers!

I used to believe…

When I was little I thought the whole family was psychic because they knew when someone was at the door.

When I was 5 I got tubes in my ears and I could suddenly hear the doorbell!

I used to believe…

When i was really young, i remember thinking how people breathed when they were kissing. that's because i thought kissing entailed suction (like hoovering) of air and saliva from the other person's mouth continuously!

I used to think my mom could hear my thoughts. I wasn't totally convinced, but it made me worry about what I was thinking sometimes. What kid needs that stress. No she didn't tell me she could hear them, I just thought of that on my own, who knows why?