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At the tender age of five life was a world of amazement. Cellotape (sticky tape) came under this catagory, I remember asking my mom if the doctors could cellotape your head back on if it was chopped off, she re-assured me that they could.
I used to believe that earaches were when an earwig got in your ear! I had a litteral phobia of earwigs, and anything that resembled them in the slightest, such as centipedes, for years.
When I was in elementary school, the school nurse would do lice checks about once a school year and I always thought that instead of saying "head lice" everyone was saying "headlights". So I always thought to myself, "how silly these people are, you don't have to do a special check to see that I don't have headlights on my head."
When I was a kid, there was a rumour that if you could fit four fingers of one hand on your forehead (without touching hair or eyebrows, I suppose,) you were going to die of cancer.
Imagine a bunch of six year olds sitting around, solemnly determining whether they'd be perishing presently of such a deadly ailment.. pretty funny.
I used to believe that if you broke your arm (or whatever) it came completely off.
When I was little and had an ear infection I used to tell my parents I had a mouse in my ear.
When I was a younger girl (just before I hit puberty) I use to get alot of cramps in my side. I never really new what cramps were. I actually thought the pain that I was experiencing was the chocolate easter bunny ear that I ate poking me in the side.
When I used to have ear infections as a kid, I used to think it was because there were catipillars crawling around the inside and outside of my ears, and I couldn't check because my mom wanted me in bed! I was so frightened and kept on jamming my fingers into my ears to check for catipillars. My brothers encouraging words didnt help much, either.
I used to think an iron lung was actually a lung they put in your body, made of iron. I also thought a pacemaker was a foreign car.
I have a tendancy to get stomach ulcers and when i was little i convinced my class that i had lots of bugs living inside me, about the size of a cocroach, and they ate away at my stomach which caused me to have tummy aches!
I remember one night when I was around 7, we had all gathered at my grandmother's for some family thing. Me and my best cousin (who was 2 months younger) were acting goofy as usual (sliding down the stairs on our asses, to be precise); Prior to descending into fits of laughter, she turned to me and said, "we'd better stop or we'll get the giggles." For a long time after that, I believed that "the giggles" was a serious illness that I'd have to go to the doctor for if I was ever unfortunate enough to contract it.
When I was about 6, I came down with a kidney infection. As anyone who knows about that, they perform a urinalysis to determine the problem. As a 6-year-old, the word "urine" wasn't a part of my vocabulary yet so I thought they were saying "your analysis"! After all, they were analyzing ME. :)
When I was little my dad told me if I ever stepped on a rusty nail I would get this evil thing called lockjaw and that I would have to drink from a straw for the rest of my life. I never ran around with out shoes and belived that into my 20's.
I went to boarding school when I was 11 and on the first tour of the place, I was shown round the sick bay. There were notices up stating surgery times... I almost threw up I was so scared! Once my Mum left me there it was clear that they had veto over me to operate on me whenever they liked, they could amputate all my limbs and sell them to the zoo if they wanted to! It was three years before I went down there for an illness - I treated everything myself, with hot ribena.
I GREW UP IN THE 80'S. ONE DAY I WAS WATCHING THE T.V AND A NEWS SPECIAL CAME ON, TELLING THE WORLD ABOUT THE DANGERS OF AIDS. THAT AFTERNOON I FELT MINUTELY OFF COLOUR, SO I BROKE THE NEWS TO MY DAD: 'Dad, I feel ill, I'm afraid I've got Aids'.
that was when he knew how frighteningly intelligent I would be : )
My Mom had a car accident soon after I was born and had to have surgery on her knee because of it. Somehow, I got it into my head that there were still tiny doctors living inside her knee, working on it.
my grandmother would tell me that if i exercised after eating(specifically, if i jumped up and down), food i ate would go into my appendix and i would get appendicitis. i would visualize this happening, and even thought it could happen if i slept on my side. so for years i refused to sleep on my right side, and usually slept on my back
I thought a heart attack was when you got attacked by your brother or sister. So I'd say she's a heart attacking me!!!
My sister and I both had minor surgery as infants -- she had a hernia and I had a cyst removed from my neck. I used to believe that they cut my head off, took out the cyst then sewed my head back on...
Not only that -- I also used to believe that EVERY kid had an operation when they were a baby. When I was 4 I was at my grandmother's for the summer. The first day I met another little girl and in an effort to get to know her asked her what kind of operation she had when she was little. I was dumbfounded when she said she hadn't had any! I went back to my grandma's house and she explained the truth to me. I bet that little girl's mother was surprised when her little girl asked her about operations!
My 5 year old had a fever. I told her that I would get some ASPIRIN for her. She told me she didn't need ASPIRIN because her butt didn't hurt.