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I was a hypochondriac when I was a child. I was always convinced that I had some kind of health problem, and would frequently demand that my mother do something about my imaginary ailments.
When I was around 9, whenever I came to my mother complaining of a stomachache, she would give me some dark green "miracle medicine," which she said had been discovered by natives in the rainforest. It always worked! I would take it, lie down and feel better in minutes. I even remember telling her that I wanted to write a thank-you letter to the village where the medicine was discovered.
I later found out that this "medicine" was water and green food coloring.
When I was in 7th grade my friend was absent from school one day. I talked to her later that night and asked her why and she told me her bladder had exploded. The next day at school I went around telling everyone what had happened and they all felt terrible for her.
I'm now in 9th grade and she just told me last week that she was kidding.
I used to believe that ambulances were for people who vomited needles....?
When I was little I somehow got the belief that if someone vomited they vomited the colour of their hair. Don't know where that idea came from
When I was eight years old, I was a sometime latchkey kid (but without the key as we lived in a rural area and no one locked their doors) and when the bus dropped me off at home after school, I might have to hang out for anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour on my own. Perhaps a week after a lesson in school about how fevers over 106 degrees fahrenheit are fatal, I became sick toward the end of the day.
I came home, changed into pajamas, and took my temperature as I climbed into bed. It was 100.8 deg. F, and on the digital thermometer we had, I read that not as one-hundred-point-eight, but as one-hundred eight. I started praying that God would not let the fever kill me before my mom came home. That was the longest fifteen minutes of my life. Thankfully, she set me straight. (and gave me some asprin and some cold water and tucked me in.)
I was always really scared when I was younger that I would get breast cancer but I didn't know how to tell or how to check for it. The advertisements just scared me a lot.
i got ear infections a lot from swimming, i believed they were caused by little monsters that swam into your ears and gnawed at the inside with its teeth
I used to think that only girls got their temperatures taken rectally because girls (ie, moms) were allowed to see other girls' tushies but not boys' tushies. I was the youngest of three girls and their were no boys in the house. One time, I saw my friend's brother with a thermometer on top of a jar of vaseline in his room when he was sick, and she told me that both boys and girls got their temperatures taken in their tushies.
I used to believe that in the middle of the Donna Summer hit " love to love you baby", where she would make moaney sex noises, she had a tummy ache
I used to think that if I fell down I would get amnesia. So anytime I "fell", which was usually a fake fall, I would quickly say my name, address, etc. to make sure I didn't have amnesia
when i was younger, i thought there were tiny people inside of me and when i had a tummy ache, that they were playing bowling
I used to believe that needles were given for no good reason whatsoever. (But thankfully when I was young enough to believe such a thing, I actually liked needles.)
I used to believe that getting a needle and not crying was extremely brave and grown up. Therefore, I liked needles because they were a chance for me to show that I was a very very brave person! (And now I have developed a phobia of needles, funnily enough.)
My sisters once told me if I blinked too much I would get cancer.
How mean... D:
That if you went on the swings right after you ate, you would get chicken pox.
Until 8th grade I had never heard of a staph infection. All the teachers were talking about a staph infection that was in my school. I thought they meant staff infection, like a disease that was being passed on from teacher to teacher but no students had caught it. (A few of the teachers had been absent already, so I just assumed...) I was really embarressed when I learned what it really meant.
When I was younger my dad was talking to me about cancer (I don't know why, i think I asked what it was but I really don't remember). When he started talking to me about scientists looking for cures, his laptop, which was on the table near us, shut off and the screensaver (the colorful ball thing that changes shapes) came on. For the longest time I thought that the screensaver thingy was a computer program that scientists made to look for the cure for cancer.
When I was a kid my brother told me that if I fake coughed then I would get cancer... I believed that UNTIL I found out what cancer REALLY is. To this day I can't believe why I actually believed that.
one day, in the third or fourth grade, our teacher told us about AIDS and the methods by which it was transmitted. it was the usual methods--unprotected sex, unsafe blood transfusions, iv drug use and tattoos, if the needles were unsterilized. apparently, i thought all tattoos resulted in AIDS, because i came home in hysterics, thinking that my mom, who had two tattoos, was going to die of AIDS. it took her half an hour to calm me down enough to explain that there were safe ways of getting tattoos done...
One day, while I was in preschool, I had a sore through. I had been playing outside earlier in the day and remembered there being a lot of ant hills around. before story time, I was telling my friend next to me how my throat hurt and it felt like a swallowed an ant (which I would never intentially do as a child, I wouldn't even eat food off the floor), and the thing was still moving around. Immediately my friend told the teacher that I swallowed an ant. I tried to explain to her that I was describing how my throat felt, not what I actually did, but I couldn't find the right words to explain. Everyone believed that I was a moron who ate bugs.
a few days later I found out from the doctor that the feeling I had was because I had strep throat.