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being ill

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When I was 10, I thought that nausea was called Lack-O-Candy Disease. My mom made it up

Teddybearhaha
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When I was quite young, a neighbor convinced me that a "hernia" was when a boy's penis got tied in a knot. She being particularly cruel had done this to her brother.

Imagine my horror when I found out my father had a hernia!

Sony full of Bologna
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I use to think when you had a head ache your brain had died and after the head ache would go away your brain came back alive!

Ellie M.
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when my daughter was young she used to think anyone who broke an arm or a leg were missing them as she thought they snapped off

fiona
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My parents always told me my white blood cells were little army men inside of me fighting off the germs. I thought they were literally tiny plastic army men in my viens, but wondered why they didnt hurt when they poked me (the plastic toys were kinda pointy)

Kyle
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When I was 2 or 3, my brother needed his tonsils out. Back then it was common practice for the other siblings to have them removed, too. I'l never forget the day, travelling in the car singing "I'm going to the hofala, hofala, hofala! I'm going to the hofala, hofala, hofala!" My grandmother asked me "What's a hofala?" Of course I responded with what I had been told "It's a place where you get jello and ice cream and pudding!"

Tammy
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I used to think that amputate (meaning to cut off) meant to heal, or fix. I got the image of lotion and ointments when I heard this, so I was talking to my mom (this was about 1-2 years ago, and I just turned 13).
Me: Why are Grandma’s fingers crooked? (She had athrightious)
Mom: Because she has arthrightious.
Me: Why can’t we just amputate them? (Since healing something is good, amputating must be good, huh?)
Mom: That’s a mean thing to say.
Me: Isn’t amputating good?
Mom: No, it’s very mean.
Me: But… isn’t healing her fingers good?
Mom: Amputating is cutting something off.
Me: Oh.

Anon
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When i was younger my elder brother was scratching my hair ( i think it feels great ) and he apparently picked out a nit and dropped it in my ear then he said that its going to take over my brain i cried for ages thinking he was telling the truth. to this day im VERY cautious of my ears.

ear-cautious
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I used to think that when people had chemotherapy, they had to make a salon appointment and they would wash the person's hair with a strong and toxic shampoo and conditioner so it would blast off their head and leave them bald. At least that's less gross than all the blood stuff in hospital.

Anon
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Actually both of my daughters, at ten years apart mind you, independently came to the same conclusion that you had to "give away" an illness such as a cold to get over it. Each of them had an episode where they started crying because I didn't want to "catch it" they both thought I was so mean because I wanted them to stay sick!

Ladybug2535
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I used to want hemmoriods so I could use a "float tube" in the tub and have a cushy toilet seat like my dad.

Tami
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I had visited a neighbour's house and noticed she had a huge scary scab on her lip. I asked her daughter what it was and she told me it was a coleslaw. When my granny put some coleslaw in a salad one day I had a big screamy fit and refused to go near it. I avoided coleslaw for years.

Confused from Matlock
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when i was little, a mean little friend of mine who lived across the road from me tole me that if you cut yourself, and you lick/ drink your own blood your toung would grow really big,after that i had a phobia about cutting my mouth just incase some blood went on my toung!!!

jayjay
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When my sister and I were young, when we were in the bath she used to mix soap and water and give it to me. She said that my mother told her to give it to me as medicine or i would die. So I drank that soapy water for years, until I finaly worked it all out!

Anon
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In kindergarten, a friend of mine arrived to school whispering to me that she had lost her voice. I had believed that her voice ran off and was hiding somewhere waiting to be found, so I immediately volunteered to help her find her voice around the classroom.

Brigitte Reid
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as a young tomboy, i had many scrapes and cuts on which my mother put antibiotic ointment to help heal. i somehow decided it was a cure-all and once helped my little sister's headache by smearing it all on her head and hair. it didn't make the headache go away. i'm now a nurse.

Anon
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When I got sick from a stomach illness once, I was told I had caught a 'tummy bug'. I actually thought there was a small bug in my stomach, making me sick, so I used to turn upside and hit myself in the belly trying to kill and get the 'bug' out.

Tungtvann
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When I was three, my mom told me that you could get AIDs from touching used cigarettes or chewing gum. I'm not sure if she honestly believed that, or was exaggerating or what, but I believed it. I wasn't even really sure what AIDs was, but I knew it was a horrible disease. For years, I would panic when I'd accidentally touch chewing gum underneith a table or railing.

Dae
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when i threw up for the first time i thought oatmeal was coming out my mouth so i ate it. i then ran into my parents room and said '' mommy oatmeal keeps coming out of my mouth'' ! she then told i was throwing up.

wacko zacho
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When my Dad was playing hockey he hit his head and had to go get a catscan and i thought that a cat had to stand on his head. I was so confused and did'nt understand what the cat would do to help him.

Anna
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