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I grew up with a cardiovascular condition that required open heart surgery. My parents took me to the doctor for a check-up and I started screaming like a raving lunatic. I got covered in sweat and started crying and my brother even swears I pee'd on myself. My parents finally calmed me down and asked what was wrong. My brother told me that when I went into the doctor's office he was going reach into my chest and pull out my heart, fix it, and then put it back in. He had seen it on one of those Indiana Jones documentaries our father watched...
When I was about 9 I was laying on my stomach as my mother was shaking down the thermometer, when she accidentally smashed it on my dresser, sending glass and mercury flying onto the bed. She got me very nervous because it came into contact with my exposed skin and said it can "seep through and cause mercury poisoning," For the next few years, I tried to justify my grades in school by saying that I had "mercury poisoning" and it slowed me down.
My nephew (age 7) thought tampons were plugs for diarrhea.
when i was little i had a splinter in my foot and i had to go to the hospital to get it removed and the doctor told me he had to rub bug juice on it to make it better. IT WAS IODINE
When i was little my sister got a hernia, earlier that day we had been chasing butterflies around the garden so i explained to her that one of the butterflies she caught had ate his way into her stomach and gave her the hernia... shes 19 now and still to this day has the most irrational fear of butterflies
I used to believe that frost bite was when arctic wolves came out in cold weather to bite off your fingers and toes.
I had never heard of Chicken Pox when I got it as a kid. When the doctor told my mom, I started crying and told them, "I don't want to turn into a chicken!"
I used to believe they were called dentist disappointments rather than dentist appointments.
You know how some medicines and the like have the label saying "keep out of reach of children"? Well I thought it meant if a kid was in possession of it they would go to jail. I remember one time when I had Chicken Pox I had some lotion i could put on and my mom let me hold onto it but because it has the "keep out of reach of children" on it I was scared the police might somehow find out I had it and throw me in jail!
I used to believe that cough medicine had a toggle effect. In other words, if you took cough medicine when you didn't have a cold, it gave you a cold
When I contracted the chicken pox, I overheard my mom tell the doctor my rash hadn't come to a head yet. I took that to mean that little chicken heads would grow all over me!
When I was about 6 years old I accidently swallowed a shell casing for a 22 size bullet. My mother told me that if I fell down I would explode so my brother & sisters wouldn't play with me for a couple of days because they were afraid I'd explode.
I used to believe that Rheumatic fever was romantic fever and you got it if you fell in love. Even though I had rheumatic fever as a child, probably because I loved David Cassidy, I didn't realize the truth until I was in nursing school.
My mom told me that my neighbor had thrown her back out. I felt very smart because even I knew you shouldn't leave parts of your body in the trash can.
When I was little and I laid on my mother's bed with the thermometer in my tushy, I used to picture little men inside me pushing the mercury up according to how much temperature I had.
When I had chicken pox my older brothers told me that I was getting them because of two guys inside me with hammers that were punching them out of my skin, and the only way to get rid of them was to let them punch me in the stomach...totally bought it.
I was about ten when I asked my grandma what herpes was.
"They're Furbies, right? Only a little bigger? I think they sell them at the gas station."
My parents still think it's really funny.
I used to believe that the more sick you were, the more medicine you should take to get better... my parents really should have kept the medicine out of my reach... I tested my theory one day when I had a bad cough. All I got was a stomach-pumping and some activated charcoal.
my little sister one day received a rather nasty gash above the eye one day (my fault) and she was taken to hospital to get stitches.
I was four at the time, and as I was waiting outside, i kept wondering how on earth the doctor would fit my sister's head under the needle of the sewing machine to insert the stitches...
After Mom went to the doctor's office, we stopped at the grocery store to pick up some prescriptions and a herbal supplement. I couldn't remember exactly what it was, but thought I had the word.
Mom started cracking up when I asked her if we were going to get the "euthanasia". (echinacea)