farting

when i was little i used to believe that if i said "excuse me " when i fated , the smell would go away (it didn't!)

R

I used to believe that if you stood in front of an open woodstove when it was hot, and farted, the tozic fumes of the fart would catch fire. I tried this many times, and so did my brother, but alas we could never make our farts catch fire.

Anon

when iwas like 9yrs old i believed that i had to do 2 farts after whatever i ate or else i would explode i always blamed it on the food i still do

hamdi suubon

i used to think if you didn't fart within 1 year when you were about to fart you'd explode.

josh

I used to believe that a fart was a bubble (like a soap bubble) with a little chunk of poo in it. When the bubble burst, it made the fart sound and the smell of the poo-chunk would come out.

Caff

I remember being at a restaurant when I was little and my mom said something about the Nazis "gassing the Jews" and I thought she was saying "gassing the juice". I figured it meant when you try to fart but it squirts instead. I couldn't understand why my mom would be talking about something so disgusting while we were eating. (I guess what she was actually talking about wasn't very pleasant dinner conversation either.)

Anon

When I was little I thought that if you farted the smell would stay by your butt. So whenever I did I'd try to make sure to stay away from people, and under NO circumstances turn my back to anyone close by.

Erin

I believed that a giant cartoon-like skunk tail, black with stripe, would pop out your butt when you farted, and go back in before you could see it, which explained the "pop" feeling that comes with a fart.

Stacie

After seeing the Nutty Professor, I was scared to death to fart around a lit match or a stove. I believed that if I farted around these fire hazards that the world would explode into a big-ass mushroom cloud due to gas-caused explosions. One day, I accidentally let one rip after eating several frozen burritoes. I was terrified to realize that I let one go near my aunt's gas stove. The gas was on high while the stove was cooking my aunt's boiled eggs. I ran away screaming for my life like a savage/ Running outside flailing my arms around at every passing car that the world was going to explode any minute because I farted a big one.

Man, I was dumb.

The Big Loser Girl.

When I was young my dad used to lean against things like a wall or tree,or he would bend over and pick something up and he would rip a long loud one. Then say something like"did you hear that? the tree is moving" or "sounds like this thing is broken".He now walks stairs and says"creeky stairs, i better fix them soon"

my dad, the tree mover

I Used to Beleve that if you sang this song it would make your farts seem better so here it is Beans Beans the More you Eat the More you Toot but singing that didnt help at all

Anon

Upon asking my mum why she never farted, she told me that mum's couldn't fart after having children, because it messed up 'that' part of your body. And I think I actually believed it well into my teens!

Anon

Never hold back a fart. if you do it builds up in your brain and causes shitty ideas

Anon