fartingShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
My favorite excuse:
Must be those trouser geese again!
I used to think that by filling the immediate air with noxious gases would hamper my growth! I am 6ft 2 you know...With a painful stomach cramp!
When I was young I believed that if you farted when it was cold outside smoke would come out of your bootie the same way it does mouth. So when I would have to fart and I was waiting for the school bus I would hold it until I was sure that no cars were coming by so that no one would no that I pooted.
i believed if u farted so loudly and violently u would fly up into space and explode by the almighty gases inside u. i still believe this now and i have never farted loudly since!!
I was told in first grade that if you fart burp and sneeze at the same time you would blow up
I used to believe that farts were triangular with the ends rounded so they wounded hurt.
I used to think that farting was the sound the food I ate crying. My uncle used to tell me 'Dont be embarrassed about farting in public, A fart is just the cry of a lonely turd'
Then hed do his famous fart poem
Excuse the gas that had to pass
just be happy I have a clean ass.
He was pretty gross!
When I was little I used to think that if you farted in the shower it wouldn't smell cos the water would wash it clean.
When I was little my mom used to tell me I was killing the o-zone layer with my poo-gases.
Ahh, childhood...so many stories.
A friend of my moms (still friends) use to tell me and my brother not to fart around cigarettes or a match cause our butts would 'blow off'. I wasn't afraid of something that never happened so on that same day we went to pick up my mom from work, I leaned to the front seat and asked.
"Mommy, if I put a match to my butt and fart...will it blow up?"
There was a pause, my mom looked at her friend and her friend looked like a frog holding in air, then BOOOOM!! Burst of laughter and I knew that the woman friend was lying the whole time.
My Granpa told me if i would fart and talk at the same time i would die. i remember the first time that happened and it scared me pretty bad.
When I was young my mum told me that things that smell bad were poisonous. So every bathtime I would take an empty jamjar. I fill the jamjar with water and catch the bubbles from farts I did in the bath. Later on when my sister was a sleep i would sneak into her room and take the lid off the jar and let her breath the poisonous fumes in her sleep. To my disapointment se survived for over a week and is still alive
My mom used to tell me that if I swallowed my gum when I farted, I would blow a bubble out of my butt.
I used to believe that my mom couldn't fart..For years you'd hear or smell something, and we'd immediately say "DaD! Stop being so disgusting" and he's just smile. Until one day it happend again, and the standard procedure ensued, and he gave us the most ghastly look, thats when we realised that it was mom, cos she had a smirk the size of Africa on her face...
I used to think that when you farted, it meant that you had to poop. I realized that this was a fallacy one day when i went to go poop about 20 times, and nothing came out. in case you're wondering, i had hotdogs, baked beans, and cole slaw the night before.
My sister is three years younger than me, until this year, at the age of 15 she still thought that if you dont fart you explode. you can imagine what life in my house was like until she stopped.
its why i do drugs by the way sis.
In 5th grade my friend told me in the dictionary under fart it said an explosion from between the legs. I argued with my mom about this for days until she finally told me that it actually said expelsion
When I was younger my best friend told me that if I farted, burped and sneezed all at the same time, then I would die. I have yet to find out if it is true!
i was told in first grade that when you farted green gass or bubbles come out....so for months i tried to catch a peek when i farted....but i always missed. it came out before i got a look. i still haven't seen what a fart looks like, but adult reasoning tells me that there would be a green coloring to my underwear if this were so.
My mom used to say that if you farted to much ,when you got old that you butt would become loose and you wouldn't be able to hold you poop in and you'd poop your pants.