farting
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top belief!
My children all believed , when they were young that dad ( me ) couldn't fart , because i'd had a fartectomy. We still laugh about how , whenever there was a bad smell in our house that " It can't be dad, he's had a fartectomy " was the response from the kids. My six year old grand-daughter nowadays is not quite as gullible.
top belief!
I used to believe, well kinda I might, still do a little, I'm uncertian. I once heard that if you farted in the bathtub, and were quick enough to bite the bubble and suck in it's methane contents before it popped, well then you would hallucinate. might sortof like taking LSD I supose I wasn't never quite quick enough to catch the bubble yet..
top belief!
I was scared to fart outdoors in the winter when I was a kid (OK, I'm still a little self-conscious about it). When you are in the cold you can see your breath and steam comes out of your mouth. I figured the same principle applies to flatulence. How embarrassing would it be to fart outdoors in the cold and have someone see steam coming out of your butt and know that you farted?
top belief!
WHEN I WAS YOUNG, MY FATHER RIPPED A BIG ONE AND EXCLAIMED, "OH! SOMEONE MUST BE PRAYING FOR ME. AN EVIL SPIRIT JUST LEFT MY BODY!" FROM THEN ON (FOR A LITTLE WHILE)I BELIEVED A FART WAS THE STINKY RESULT OF DIVINE INTERVENTION.
top belief!
I once asked my mother what whould happen if you held in a fart, not getting much response I asked would the gas poison your insides, to which she replied yes (being a mother now with 3 young kids constantly asking questions - I realise now she was not actually listening to me). Unfortunately I believed holding them in would kill me so from that day I would fart whenever the need took me - including a very loud embarrassing one in Kindy during the singing session. I put up with the humiliation of everyone laughing at me because I genuinely beleived I had saved my own life.
when i was younger (8 or 9) and i farted my dad used to tell me not to worry, that my bum just coughed.
top belief!
I thought that you could capture a fart in a jar - Sound and all. The procedure was that you fart in the jar and put the lid on as quickly as possible. A fart in a jar could last as long as a week. As the week went by the fart degraded
top belief!
I used to believe that our family was the only family that farted.
top belief!
When I was little my dad used to tell me that when he farted, that if I breathed it in I wouldn't get a cold in the winter
top belief!
My father used to tell my brother that if he breathed in my father's farts, that it would make my brother grow. So when my father would cut one, my brother would run up and take big, long whiffs. Cracked dad up.
Farts really are Barking Spiders, right?
top belief!
Until I was about 9, I believed farts were actually bubbles...rather unpleasant brown bubbles, to be specific. Farts sounded different because some involved just a few big bubbles bursting loudly, while others were the result of a large number of small bubbles popping in rapid succession. These bubbles also explained why one's underwear sometimes ended up stained at the end of the day. All quite internally consistent, when you think about it.
as i kid (about 4 or 5) my mother asked me to assist my younger sister in going to the toilet as she was busy with some friends who had come round for coffee. Once in the bathroom, it in fact turned out little sis in fact only needed to fart. Upon returning downstairs and announcing to my mother and her highly amused friends that it wasnt a poo, but in fact 'a burp that comes out of your bottom', It took me some years before I learnt the word fart
I used to believe that people only fart when they drink Pepsi.And farts were produced to tease people with bad smell.If we smelled those farts , we could even die.
This isn't my belief, but a few years ago my best friend made her little brother believe that if you ate only one food for an entire week (for example, apples), that your farts would smell like apples.
He never got to test the theory because there's no way a parent would let their child eat only one food for an entire week!
top belief!
When I was young, my parents referred to farts as "Tooters." Of course, this was never written down, so my concept of the spelling of the word was not quite what it was today. I was convinced it was spelled "Tudor," and when I first heard that word used to describe the style of house I was really, really confused.
top belief!
I used to believe that if you farted in a jar and put it in the fridge it would turn into a cabbage by morning.
I used to think farts were called Kermies.. so I always associated them with Kermit the Frog. I got laughed at in PRESCHOOL for that one!
My grandpa, who was the Champeen Farter of the East Coast, used 1 of 3 excuses when he'd rip a good one.
(imagine a thick Slovenian accent here, if you can:)
(1) (looks at floor) "Floors creakin'"
(2) (looks out window) "Thunder"
(3) (looks at me with big smile) "Frogs"
top belief!
I truly believed my dad had a Magic Finger. Every time I pulled it, he farted. It wasn't until I was about 8 that I figured out it was more of a timing thing.
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