body functions: farting

When I was five, I heard a joke (I can't remember it now) but the punchline was that someone farted and blew up a house. For a long time I was afraid to fart because I thought I would blow wherever I was up!

When i was about 5, my mom farted in front of me (as she always does) and jokingly said "bad dog" to our dog under the table, as if it was him who farted. but i thought she was saying it because my dog somehow had the power to make her fart and from then on whenever i had to fart i'd go and yell at Rover.

Whenever on of my parents let one lose, they would say, "Barking Spiders!"

When I was a child, well after being potty trained, but before ever experiencing or even imagining such thing as a "wet fart", I was nonetheless scared to death for some reason of farting when I was naked. I was afraid that somehow if I farted when naked, I was in grave danger of doing more than a fart and spraying doodoo all over the room. But when ever I had so much as just panties on, I farted fearlessly, never expecting it to soil my panties. So I can't imagine why the thought of farting naked was fraught with such apprehensions of something I'd never known to happen!

I had heard the term "having gas pains", but didn't know that the "gas" was actually farts. One day in the fourth grade I was having a lot of stomach aching and I got up in class and announced to my teacher, "I think I'm having gas pains!". She looked absolutely disgusted and all the kids were laughing. My teacher then yelled back, "Well go to the bathroom then! What are you tellin' me for?!" After I found out what that meant, I just wanted to die!

I used to believe…

whenever i farted i used to believe that i sneezed because whenever i did fart, someone would always say "god bless you"

I used to think that farts were really stink bubbles that come out of your butt and explode and make a really loud sound. The silent farts were when the bubbles were small and not ready to pop.

When I was about 5, I used to think that farts were poop inside you that turned into air.

I used to think that I was the FIRST person in the world who ever farted, I kept referring to people after they farted as copy cats. I would proceed to inhale deeply to put thefart back in my head so I DIDN'T FORGET HOW TO fart.

once i saw this man fart and he groaned in pain so i thought that farting hurt!hahahahahaha

When my family went camping on Labor Day weekend with another family we were friends with, I remember whenever somebody farted, one of the member's of the other family would cover their beer or drink with their hand. I thought from then on that if you didn't do this, then the fart would get into your drinks.

i used to believe that when you farted you released
"poo particles" and if somone let one loose during dinner i would refuse to eat another bite it wasnt untill i was 9 i realised that i realised my sister was lying

I used to believe that if I turned my head and looked at my butt when I farted, I would see the fart coming out. So one day I went into the bathroom naked and looked at my butt until I farted. I was very disappointed when I saw that farts are invisible.

i always thought that when you fart it meant you would have to poop very soon. so whenever i farted i made sure i went to the bathroom as quickly as possible so i wouldn't poop on the floor!

when i was little i noticed that my sister farted alot.........my mom once told me that if u farted alot ur butt would burst and u would rip ur pants........my sister cried but she couldnt stop,,,,,,,,,,,,y?

I believed that when you passed gas, a visible bubble would appear (even when not in the water) and then *pop*, spreading the merriment for everyone within range.