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body functions: farting

417 beliefs

the best of farting

When I was younger, My Dad told me if I go outside and fart in a jar then close it, I could capture it and it would glow in the dark... I tried it.

Anon

everybody believed this

21 of the 417 are filed under it

Girls don't fart

21 of you

the other 396

When i was a kid i used to hear never pull the tigger on a gun cause it will kill people.

So from then on each time my brother would ask me to pull his finger (you know let out a fart) and i would scream he was trying to kill someone

— Matt_31

In my first year of pre school i still hadn't quite figured out that it is inpolite to rip farts in public, so the first time i walked in after i introduced myself i proceded to rip a huge fart right in front of everyone.

Anon

when i was younger... i used to cry every time i would fart... b/c my friend told me once, that if you farted too much... you would lose all the air inside of you-- and deflate lke a big balloon.

— M Fizzle and K Lizzle

pick of the bunch

I used to believe that whenever my dad farted (which he did WAY to much) that it was a duck quacking somewhere.

— nat

When I was a child, well after being potty trained, but before ever experiencing or even imagining such thing as a "wet fart", I was nonetheless scared to death for some reason of farting when I was naked. I was afraid that somehow if I farted when naked, I was in grave danger of doing more than a fart and spraying doodoo all over the room. But when ever I had so much as just panties on, I farted fearlessly, never expecting it to soil my panties. So I can't imagine why the thought of farting naked was fraught with such apprehensions of something I'd never known to happen!

— Julia

When I was a little kid, I was horrified at how big adults’ butts were, and when I heard saxophones playing, I always pictured a row of naked adult butts swaying back-and-forth

Anon

pick of the bunch

I used to believe that my immediate family were the only people in the world that farted

— Rainbow

Sometimes I would walk through a room and let a fart, and then say "Watch out for that barking spider". One day my 8 year old son jumped up on the couch to avoid the spider. That's when I found out that he thought barking spiders were real.

Anon

pick of the bunch

when i was younger (8 or 9) and i farted my dad used to tell me not to worry, that my bum just coughed.

— james

pick of the bunch

A friend of mine used to think that if she let a poot that she could sniff it all up in her nose so that no one else would smell it. yuck!

— toothfairy

When I was younger, I thought that when you farted, a little brown, smelly bubble would pop out of your butt, and then it would pop loudly. When it popped, a nasty-smelling gas would be released, and if some of the gas got on your clothing, you would smell bad forever. This resulted in: a) me looking behind myself after farting (to see the bubble) and b) me jumping as soon as I farted (so no gas got on my clothes!)

— Charlie (aka FartBoy)

when i was 8 or 9 i used to think that when i farted i couldn't breath in. that was cuz if something can smell so bad, then it MUST be poison

— out of breath

I used to believe that if you stood in front of an open woodstove when it was hot, and farted, the tozic fumes of the fart would catch fire. I tried this many times, and so did my brother, but alas we could never make our farts catch fire.

Anon

I have a friend who things that if you don't let all the air out when you yawn it will turn into a burp and if you dont burp it'll turn into a fart

— Usagi Ohkami

When I was about six or seven my Dad told me that the hospital sold corks for children who farted too much to hold it all in! I believed him for quite some time.... at least it got me to go away from him to fart I guess.

— Corky

I used to believe that if you farted you could blow a hole through the chair.

— Mick

i used to belive that you drive your car on the line in the street.

— abcdef

I used to think that when somebody farted, little black dots came out that looked like pepper specks.

— Jade

when i was younger i thought that if you farted by a raidiator your bum would explode!

Anon

i used to think if you didnt fart you would float away into the sky because i was weird like that. that was 23 years ago

— hannah

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