body functions: farting

when i was about six, my dad told me that only girls farted, because he was trying to put the blame of his farts on my step-mum. i believed him up until i was about ten when i realised that boys did indeed fart.

In 5th grade my friend told me in the dictionary under fart it said an explosion from between the legs. I argued with my mom about this for days until she finally told me that it actually said expelsion

Whenever on of my parents let one lose, they would say, "Barking Spiders!"

when i was little i used to believe that if i said "excuse me " when i fated , the smell would go away (it didn't!)

I thought that when people farted and I breathed I'd get the farting-gasses inside me and get sick.


A day later I got REALLY sick, but that's another story...

I used to believe that once you get older you stop farting.

My 5 year old cousin informed me that he gets his hair cut at "Fart Kids", where instead of cutting your hair, they fart it off.

i used to believe that the big water tanks were fart tanks and you were assigned to a color according on what color your house was.
so your parents took you when you were sleeping to the top of the fart tanks and stuck a hose up your butt and pumped all the farts for your whole year on new years eve thats why you stayed up so late so you could get to the tanks first. and so whenever we drove pass a tank i plugged my nose so i didnt have to smell all the farts

I used to think people farted whenever they drove by a gas station without stopping there, and that's why it's called "passing gas." It never occurred to me that it didn't always happen.

I once told a friend of mine that if you held in a smelly burp, it'd turn into a fart. She believed me.

i used to belive that if you farted and burped at the same-time your head would blow up or you would shrink because you let to much air out of your body!!!!

i used to think that when u farted bubbles came out your butt so I tried to look and see if it was true! My mum gave me funny looks!

I use to believe I had holes in my bum cheeks for my farts to come out

When I was about 5, I used to think that farts were poop inside you that turned into air.

I used to believe that farts were actually triangular brown things that floated out of your arsehole - despite the fact that no one, myself included, could see them, I was still convinced of that fact until I was about 4.

I used to believe tht if you ate a lot of beans and flapped your wings, you could "FartFly". You would fly up into the clouds and be able to go anywhere until your "gas" ran out. I even held small "classes" about FartFlying with my parents and stuff.

Sadly, I could never actually fly myself because I hated-and hate- the taste of beans.