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farting

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i used to believe that if you farted in the shower you would then be contaminated by the smell and would have to wash your hair over again. I was a stupid child.

mildew
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I used to think that to get the gas in the natural gas trucks, people farted into the back of the truck and closed the door really quick.

J
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When I was younger, I used to believe if i covered my ears before I farted no one else would hear it.

Lime
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When I was little, I thought that it was actually my pants farting. My mom still asks me if my pants just farted.

blame it on the pants.
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When I was in third grade,we were taking a test and I farted and it came out soooooooo loud and it sounded strangely like a horn. Everyone turned around and looked out the window thinking that a big truck had went by and blew its horn. I turned around and went with it, because i didn't want anybody to know it was me.

Fartin' Trucker
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When i was little my friends convinced me that when i heard somebody else fart that it was really me.And they told me that no body would know if i sniffed them up quickly enough.Needless to say, my friends constantly tried to fart so that could watch me turn around and sniff untill i thaught it was gone.

fart sniffer
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when i was a little kid, when my dad always farted he would say "there goes another barking spider." whenever he said that, i would dive on the floor looking for it.

Anon
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When I was a kid my sister once told me that it was a sin to hold back a fart in Church. The reason she gave - concentrating on holding in the fart would distract your attention from the service, and you were supposed to give all your attention to the service. She even told me that because people are supposed to freely fart in Church whenever they get an urge to, that's why the seats are called "pews". Well, it seemed to make sense to me at the time. But by the time I had only let a few good farts in Church, I clearly found out that doing so did NOT meet with my parents' approval. I guess I then began to realize my sister had been playing with me.

Valerie
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I used to think when i was a little kid that when you felt wind in your face the person in front of you farted really bad

bobert
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when ever i farted i used to think that it would cause a hurricane in another part of the world so when ever i heard of or saw a hurricane on the news i would go into my room crying thinking i killed 1000s of people

bobert
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i was scared to fart outside in cold weather because i thought u would be able to see the steam.

xJeNneSceNcEx
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I used to think my dad had magic farts because when he put a match to it, it would shoot out a blue flame.

Anon
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i used to think that when you held a fart in, that that exact fart would come back exactly a year later; that's right, same time, same day, but one year later. But because this fart had been hibernating for a year it would come back as a really powerful one, that's why some of my farts were smellier or noisier than others i figured. so if i was going to hold one in i had to evaluate whether it was worth it or whether in a year's time i would be in an inconvenient situation. jeez what a freak i was, this kind of thinking can only lead to best-sellers.

first kid on the block
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for a lot of years i wouldn't fart in the winter, especially on cold days. i used to see the way your breath made visible 'clouds' and thought that if i farted, my bum would do the same thing. this was only proved to be wrong about 3 years ago when i asked my now husband to see if it did leave a cloud behind me...it's a wonder he still married me after that lol

PaganJay
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When I was a kid, I believed that my turds were alive, and mostly didn't die until after they came out of my ass. But occasionally one would die while still inside, and that would make a fart, a fart being the ghost of a turd that had died. Now that I'm older that theory would have to mean that most all of my turds now die while still inside my butt!

Pam
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When I was younger I used to think that when someone said, "He is going to the gas chamber" that the "gas" was farts. I envisioned a bunch of people pressing there butts into holes in the wall and expelling gas. The gas was either bottled or the "victim" was in the room while the gas was being expelled. I now know the real meaning of the saying, but I still get a laugh out of my original thought.

Jennifer
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I thought farting was magical wind, and if you did it loud and hard, you would be able to move yourself.

Blake
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I used to believe farts were light blue bubbles that came out of your butt (why they were blue bubbles, I'll never know). I used to fart in my bed in the dark and dive under the covers real fast, trying to see them before they popped and disappeared....and I wondered why my big sister hated sharing a room with me!

Carrie from Appleton, WI
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I thought that farts were your butt screaming to not be sat on. Well, my uncle Morty was sitting beside me on my couch, watching telivision. He let a huge, loud one rip. We had been sitting for a while. "Uncle Morty your butt is upset from being sat on!" I yelled and when he got up, i kissed and patted his bum to make it all better!

Anon
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when i was little my parents taught me to say "pardon me" when i farted. i didn't really understand, so i came up with my own logical saying. "fart on me"

maggie
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