body functions: farting

My mom told me that she had stocked up on a "new" invention that you spray around the house and if someone farts the air around their butt turns purple and a purple cloud follows them and everyone knows they farted. I was very feminine and girly when i was younger so i was terrified that everyone would find out that i fart! lol

I used to believe that if I turned my head and looked at my butt when I farted, I would see the fart coming out. So one day I went into the bathroom naked and looked at my butt until I farted. I was very disappointed when I saw that farts are invisible.

When i was about 5, my mom farted in front of me (as she always does) and jokingly said "bad dog" to our dog under the table, as if it was him who farted. but i thought she was saying it because my dog somehow had the power to make her fart and from then on whenever i had to fart i'd go and yell at Rover.

When I was about 7, I would always hang out at my cousins house on the weekends, and (Im not sure why) I belived that (little) Chinese people lived in my butt. Whenever I farted, I would say,"Hey! there shooting fireworks again! I wish I could see them!"

my mom told me girls shouldnt fart its not lady like. but i found it simply hilarious but every time i did it she gave me this look so once i put a air freshener in my pants and hopped she wouldn't notice.

I believed that when you farted, bubbles came out from your bum. And I couldn't figure out how come there were never any just hanging around. And then one day I figured it out! The bubbles were popping on our clothes (underwear), of course! It made total sense.

Apparently, my mom and her friends were very ladylike. Until I was about 23 and living with my fiancee, I was utterly convinced that females were physically incapable of farting.

I used to believe that if you sniffed up a stinky fart, that no one else could smell it. I tested my theory one day in class and when it didn't work, that's when I stopped believing.

I also used to believe when you farted, your "fart cloud" would float around the world.

I used to beleive that the clouds were evrybodies farts. And if everybody kept farting soon the sky would be clogged up with cloud. It was when i was 8 in a geography class and i told the teacher the clouds were our farts that i found out that clouds werent our farts after a large amount of teasing

When I was little my dad used to tell me that when he farted, that if I breathed it in I wouldn't get a cold in the winter

I used to believe that when I 'popped off', as long as I said 'Pardon me' it wouldn't smell. I hate to think how many times I farted in company and then quietly whispered 'pardon me', thinking no-one else would ever know what I had done!

I used to believe that the natural gas trucks you see on the road were filled up with fart gas. I thought that people hooked up a hose to their butt and farted as hard as they could,the gas would travel up the hose into the trucks tank. That's why I always thought natural gas was so expensive.

My dad told me when I was little that when you were sick you needed to fart to get the germs and posions out. If you didn't you would stay sick until you did.

When I was a kid and my father would fart he would tell me it was a mouse on a motorcycle.
I, of course, would go looking for it.

when i was little i thought that a skunk lived inside me and whenever he got pissed off he would spray causing me to fart...sadly i didn't realize it wasn't true until i was ten

I used to believe there were ducks that
lived under my Dad's chair because when he farted he would declare "Must be a duck in here"