body functions: farting

When I was young I apparently had a curious belief about farting. My parents found this out when I announced, after one particularly loud fart, that I had a horn in my bottom.

My mom used to say that if you farted to much ,when you got old that you butt would become loose and you wouldn't be able to hold you poop in and you'd poop your pants.

I used to think that farting was the sound the food I ate crying. My uncle used to tell me 'Dont be embarrassed about farting in public, A fart is just the cry of a lonely turd'
Then hed do his famous fart poem

Excuse the gas that had to pass
just be happy I have a clean ass.

He was pretty gross!

When I was younger my Dad used to tell my if I farted too much my ass would fall off, so I tried not to fart and I ran up to him a few week later telling him it had fallen off when I got in the bath.

When I were a kid my brother told me farting in public was illegal but they give you 16 and a half warnings before you get in trouble (he said the half warning would be really subtle!)

I was told that if you just let your farts out then eventually you would not be able to sop yourself farting - I was petrified, and had horrible visions of walking down the street farting uncontrolably (teriible thought)!!!!!

When my family went camping on Labor Day weekend with another family we were friends with, I remember whenever somebody farted, one of the member's of the other family would cover their beer or drink with their hand. I thought from then on that if you didn't do this, then the fart would get into your drinks.

As a child I believed that if I did not pull my fathers finger that he could explode. Now that I have a child of my own, I have instilled this fear in her.

i never knew the word fart exsisted until i was about seven, i thought it was called "bustin' a bean" 'cause that's what my dad always called it, lol

I remeber when i was young my nana used to say that when you farted you were letting some of your soul escape. So i used to hold it in until i got really bad cramps. Needless to say i stopped believing when i was rushed into hospital.

When I was little my mom told me if you dont fart then your a robot and she never farted and im like MY MOMS A ROBOT!!!

I used to believe gas stations were places where people would go to let out their farts if they were embarassed to do it any place else =x

i used to believe that if you farted out of your mouth, you'd die.

When I was about 6, I noticed that my Grandpa always leaned to one side when he farted. I asked him why, and he told me that if you farted while sitting, you would shoot to the moon, and you would get stuck there digging craters.

To begin, you need a bit of background on my family: Dad's a lawyer, Mom's a medical researcher. And they're a bit careless with their references.

Anyway, I found a book called the Amazing Machine about the human body, and, being at the time in my machinery-fascination stage, started reading.

Then after dinnertime, I sat at the table and waited for several minutes. When Mom noticed me, she asked what I was waiting for.

To which I replied, "For someone to bring in this can of gas we're supposed to pass around after we eat."

One time my dad told me that if I fart and burp at the same time, you would implode. I tried and tried, but I couldn't do it. About six mounths later my dad told me that it wasn't true. That means I told all my friends a lie!